Balvin knows he has to be careful and not lose himself in all of this. "I forgot about my happiness," he says when he talks about his panic attacks. "I forgot about Jose.' Sometimes the panic attacks return, milder than they used to be, without the hammering heartbeat. "It's still a lot of stress," he says. "But I'm not as afraid as I used to be. Now when bad things happen, I'm just like, 'OK, I got over it once. I'm going to get over it, until it's done.'"