Selena Gomez opened up to fans online and to her audience at an Indonesia concert Saturday (July 23). While the motivation behind the vague Instagram letter she posted and the teary-eyed onstage speech she gave is unclear, Gomez – who just celebrated her 24th birthday on July 22 – didn’t hold back about what she was feeling at the time.
“Tonight I felt extremely unauthentic, unconnected to both myself and my music,” she wrote. “I’ve never really felt like my materials, wardrobe or a video could define me. I act on a moment and fear something that hasn’t happened. I’m stagnant, I stay still and don’t just sit with myself first and ask ‘is this where I am, whole heartedly?’ I’ve always told the truth. I’m always true to my word, I’ve shown who I am but I need to rethink some areas of my life creatively and personally. had to get that out.”
She added a caption to the candid Instagram note: “not being negative about anything I’ve done. I’m grateful for every single moment I get here -Indonesia you were LOUD and clearly inspiring. Love you so much.”
Meanwhile, at her show at Jakarta’s Indonesia Convention Exhibition earlier in the night, the singer gave a personal speech to the concertgoers in front of her.
“The next song, before I go home, is a song that’s so important to me because I get really frustrated. I get stupid sometimes. I say things that I don’t mean, or that come out wrong just because I care so badly. But the thing is, at the end of the day, no war in anger was ever won,” she said, referencing a lyric from “Kill Em With Kindness,” the Revival track she was about to perform.
“I do know that deep down in my heart that I have to believe that we can love each other and always be kind no matter what it takes in us,” she added. “I believe that we can do that, no matter what.”
Gomez — whose “Kill Em With Kindness” introduction can be heard in the fan-captured concert clip below — has a night off before continuing her Revival tour on Monday in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia.
Soon after the release of her album Revival, Gomez explained the meaning behind “Kill Em With Kindness” in an interview with iHeartRadio: “Everybody needs to hear it. It’s kind of my motto for life. It’s so much easier to be mean. It’s so easy to just kind of give yourself that, but it’s so hard to walk away from a situation, turn your cheek the other way and be the bigger person.”
“There are more important things to talk about… Why can’t people use their voice for something that fucking matters?” Gomez tweeted, followed by: “Truth is last thing we need right now is hate, in any form.”
“This industry is so disappointing yet the most influential smh,” she said.
Selena talking to the crowd in Jakarta. pic.twitter.com/2mMqbpv1Gp
— 🙂 (@gomezmalikteam) July 23, 2016