Winter may be deemed the greatest holiday season, but let’s stop lying to ourselves: The Fourth of July is actually where it’s at. There’s no pressure to buy presents or make extravagant gestures and the premise is simple: Find a beach, lie on it, and eat a lot of food with your friends (not that one weird uncle you’re forced to see every year at Thanksgiving).
We all look forward to it because there is truly nothing better than leaving the office early to gather around the barbeque, inhale some tasty hot dogs (or veggie dogs, if that’s your thing), and celebrate America.
Besides the grocery list, a crucial component to every BBQ is the guest list. We asked ourselves: If we could invite any major artist to our party this year, who would we choose?
Based off of these America and/or food-inspired songs, we think we know who will be receiving a special handwritten invitation. See our picks below, in no specific order.
Lil Nas X
Lil Nas X is the man of the moment, so of course we want him there. Not only because we want to pick his brain about breaking records and beating out pretty much every artist for the No. 1 spot on the Billboard Hot 100 for the last 13 weeks, but also because he has a song called “Panini,” so he will probably know how to press some serious sandwiches on the grill.
Someone’s gotta supply the “Juice” if we’re bringing the gin! Also, Lizzo would probably just bring the entire party with her, so she’s a vital asset to this get-together.
Another artist who excels at combining the two greatest artforms in this world: food and music. That’s right, you bet this is a hot single about “Stir Fry,” and we want to grill to it all day long.
While stir fry may not be the most traditional BBQ food, hamburgers most definitely are. And Gucci Mane knows all about them because, duh, he has a song called “Hamburger” with YG Hootie and Chopper City.
And to complement Gucci Mane’s offerings perfectly, Minaj will be serving up some buns, hun. Because no one wants to be that person who eats the patty by itself with a knife and fork.
Sheeran doesn’t have an ode dedicated to ketchup (yet), but he has made it known that he loves the stuff, thanks to his recent partnership with Heinz. We’re going to need the condiment to complete this perfect trifecta of burger ingredients and we’re sure the “I Don’t Care” singer would be more than happy to provide.
For all the folks who prefer hot dogs over hamburgers, this one’s for you.
Marina doesn’t just have a song dedicated to fruit — she has an entire album. There’s no better dessert option than the healthy fruit basket Marina has to offer after all that meat-loading. Froo-oo-oo-oot, lalalala, j-u-u-uice.
What are you going to do after downing all of that delicious food? Watch some fireworks! Now just picture Perry standing next to you in real life, screaming, “Baby you’re a firework!” Magical, right?
As we wind down, we’ll listen to Del Rey’s “God Bless America – And All the Beautiful People In It,” which is very appropriate for this American holiday. She seems like the coolest, chillest gal to hang with and will probably end up leading all the ladies as they get their relaxation on.
“Party in the USA” is the one and only way to end this imaginary party. Miley was a teen queen back in 2009, and she’s back on top now with “Mother’s Daughter.” She’d certainly be the hype woman at the afterparty, encouraging everyone to drink up and dance their faces off, which is not a bad way to party in the USA. Maybe we can even get her to bring her purple wig for a special Ashley O performance…