If you’d told me last week that during last night’s Glee we’d have Sue hypnotizing Sam to break up the coaches so that she could finally, once and for all, ruin Will and Rachel’s lives, that would seem like par for the course with respect to Sue’s increasingly absurd schemes. But then a real life bear showed up! Turns out Sue misunderstood what a “bear” is in the gay community, and send an actual animal to Dave and Blaine’s house. Apparently when Sue isn’t plotting to ruin someone’s life, she’s secretly shipping Kurt & Blaine, and just wants Dave out of the way so that the two can get together already.
The shipper revelation comes courtesy of Sue’s “Hurt Locker,” a secret storage space where Sue keeps all her plans for crushing the Glee club — as well as a bunch of pictures of Klaine. So that’s special and not at all creepy. The show was high on scheming and light on music this week, but the episode, the first in a two-parter, did give us a few memorable musical moments, with covers of Meredith Brooks, Vanessa Carlton, and more.
Check out all the songs below, ranked, as always, in a completely subjective way. (Read: If the song features a floating piano flying through Lima, you’re shooting straight to the top of the list.)
Fans don’t often get to hear Sue Sylvester singing, but when they do, it’s always something extra-random. In this case, the performance was quite fun because the ‘Absurd’ dial was turned all the way up to 10 (don’t forget Sue’s head in Rachel’s desk drawer). While the vocals weren’t particularly strong, that ultimately didn’t matter for this weird, fun number.
3. “Whip It”
In the second of two back-to-back performances, Vocal Adrenaline showed why they are the group not to be messed with. Tight choreography and amazing bump-it hairpieces made this a worthy follow-up to the standout “Rock Lobster.”
2. “Rock Lobster”
Vocal Adrenaline is continuing its winning streak: This was another great gem from the crew at VA. The complicated choregraphy was particularly memorable, especially whatever intense dance move the whole gang was breaking out where they bend into some kind of backflip. New Directions should be very, very concerned.
1. “A Thousand Miles”
Real talk: How has Glee managed to go six seasons without covering Carlton’s hit? Related: How have Rachel and Sam somehow not kissed before? That’s the danger of playing piano unprotected with a hypnotized boy. One minute you’re in a choir room, the next you’re soaring through the streets of Lima, Ohio with a major crush and only a piano bench for support.
What was your favorite number from “The Hurt Locker Pt. 1?”