By all accounts, a storm is brewing between pop superstars Taylor Swift and Katy Perry. In a new interview with Rolling Stone, Swift calls out an unnamed female artist whom she says she is now “straight-up enemies” with after the other artist tried to sabotage her arena tour. Although Swift never named Perry as the new object of her hatred, Katy vaguely fired back on Twitter hours later, “Watch out for the Regina George in sheep’s clothing…”
And then the reports came: TMZ sources confirmed that Swift’s comments were directed at Perry, and Page Six claims that the whole ordeal is rooted in their individual past romances with John Mayer. Neither artist has stepped in and denied any animosity toward the other, fanning the flames of a potential pop star showdown.
Taylor Swift’s Five Most Personal Lyrics
Taylor Swift has a song, “Bad Blood,” coming out on her new 1989 album that will hint at her grudge against the woman presumed to be Perry. But what if Taylor and Katy went public with their beef, and released no-holds-barred diss tracks? How entertaining would a “Takeover” vs. “Ether”-style musical battle be between two of music’s most beloved stars? So entertaining, in fact, that we went ahead and wrote their diss tracks for them.
Check out our fake diss tracks for Taylor Swift and Katy Perry, to the tunes of new singles “Shake It Off” and “This Is How We Do”:
Taylor Swift, “Shake Her Off”
The guy I used to date,
I thought he was okay,
But turns out I was played, mmm-mmm
Turns out I was played, mmm-mmm
Then he got with Kate,
I thought she was my mate,
I told her “Roar” was great, mmm-mmm
I told her “Roar” was great, mmm-mmm
I didn’t know then,
She was not my best friend,
Was all a game of pretend,
She kissed a girl, but she makes me wanna hurl…
‘Cause the Katy’s super fake, fake, fake, fake, fake
My dancers she will take, take, take, take, take
Baby I just gotta shake, shake, shake, shake, shake,
I shake her off, shake her off,
I’m coming for her crown, crown, crown, crown, crown
Since I’ve changed my sound, sound, sound, sound, sound
I gotta take her down, down, down, down, down
And shake her off, shake her off
When she went on tour,
Some of my crew she tried to score,
And we weren’t friends anymore, mmm-mmm
We weren’t friends anymore, mmm-mmm,
And maybe that’s okay (maybe that’s okay),
Some of “Prism’s” kinda lame (“Prism’s” kinda lame),
And that green hair is a shame, mmm-mmm
That green hair is a shame, mmm-mmm
I didn’t know then,
She was not my best friend,
Was all a game of pretend,
She kissed a girl, but she makes me wanna hurl…
‘Cause the Katy’s super fake, fake, fake, fake, fake
My dancers she will take, take, take, take, take
Baby I just gotta shake, shake, shake, shake, shake,
I shake her off, shake her off,
I’m coming for her crown, crown, crown, crown, crown
Since I’ve changed my sound, sound, sound, sound, sound
I gotta take her down, down, down, down, down
And shake her off, shake her off,
Hey, hey, hey,
Just think — while you’ve been trying to sabotage my tour and playing nice at award shows and dressing up like rabbis in music videos,
You could’ve been getting down to this sick beat!
My ex-man had a pop star girlfriend,
She’s like “We’re not friends!” since her heart is filled with hate,
KatyCats will never be, just another part of me,
Won’t you become Swifties? ‘Cause I’m just gonna shake!
‘Cause the Katy’s super fake, fake, fake, fake, fake
My dancers she will take, take, take, take, take
Baby I just gotta shake, shake, shake, shake, shake,
I shake her off, shake her off,
I’m coming for her crown, crown, crown, crown, crown
Since I’ve changed my sound, sound, sound, sound, sound
I gotta take her down, down, down, down, down
And shake her off, shake her off!
Katy Perry, “This Is How She Do”
(This is how she do, this is how she do)
Oh, oh
Looking surprised at award shows, but she always knows what’s coming (this is how she do)
Acting as humble as pie, then rolling in stadium money (oh, oh)
Writing all the heartbreak songs, while taking the blame for nothing (this is how she do)
She dated John Mayer, well duh, how could she not see that one coming?
She’s not that nice, she’s not that nice, she’s not that nice,
Taylor’s not… that… nice.
This is how she do, yeah, acting all cute
While dissing you in the press,
This is how she do, do do do do, this is how she do
This is how she do, yeah, blaming the boys
When she’s the one causing a mess,
This is how she do, do do do do, this is how she do
Everyone was cool with you, but I knew you were trouble (this is how she do)
Talking ‘Bad Blood,’ so what, don’t care, hate to burst your bubble (oh, oh)
Now you’re going pop, oh stop, can’t top me, so just don’t muddle (this is how she do)
Better stick to country, girl, or I’ll reduce you to rubble.
She’s not that nice, she’s not that nice, she’s not that nice,
Taylor’s not… that… nice.
This is how she do, yeah, acting all cute
While dissing you in the press,
This is how she do, do do do do, this is how she do
This is how she do, yeah, blaming the boys
When she’s the one causing a mess,
This is how she do, do do do do, this is how she do
This one goes out to the Regina George in sheep’s clothing
(It’s how she do, stop acting so cute)
Uh-huh, I see you
Yo, this goes out to the girl who was trying to befriend me while talking trash
(It’s how she do, stop acting so cute)
Yo, shout out to the girl who hit up Max Martin only after I did!
No respect!
This is how she do, yeah, acting all cute
While dissing you in the press,
This is how she do, do do do do, this is how she do
This is how she do, yeah, blaming the boys
When she’s the one causing a mess,
This is how she do, do do do do, this is how she do
This goes out to my former friend — we are never ever getting back together! (This is how she do)
Nope, not with me!
What? Wait. No, no, no, no,
Bring the beat back.
That’s right — peace out Taylor!