After what feels like years without the satirical charm of Stephen Colbert, the former Colbert Report host emerges with a brand new YouTube video titled “Stephen’s Next Big Decision,” which is 1 minute and 3 seconds of him “writing” a jaunty new theme song.
Armed with an electric Casio keyboard, one copy of Scientology founder Ron L. Hubbard’s Dianetics and a white board scrawled with 8 things the show needs (we wrote them out for you below, don’t worry), Colbert sings “what time is it? It’s late. What show is it? It’s show. My name’s Stephen Colbert, from my head down to my…feet.”
1. Theme Song
2. Things To Say
3. More Things To Say
4. Refreshing Sandwich
5. Harvest Organs From Clown
6. Bolo Tie?
7. KICK OXY!
8. GET OXY!!
He then stops, pencils something down, tentatively looks up and resumes.
“Uhhh…The the the the show, show…will be so great. It’ll be a big success. You can watch it on T.V on the station Columbia Broadcasting System…Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes!”
Anyone suspicious of Colbert’s ability to host a late night talk show as “himself” need not be afraid. From the looks of the show’s “needs” to his drug-induced come down persona, Colbert fans everywhere will not be disappointed.
The Late Show With Stephen Colbert will premiere on Sept. 8 on CBS.