Nicole Kidman recently sat down with People‘s editorial director to discuss how she’s supported husband Keith Urban for more than a decade during his struggle with addiction. “You can’t save somebody,” she says. “They’ve got to save themselves.” Urban has spoken about his battle with addiction early in his career when he was a struggling Australian star trying to make it in Nashville and his decision to check into rehab for an alcohol issue in 2007, just months before marrying Kidman.
In the interview, Kidman tells People editorial director Jess Cagle that if you love an addict, you have to get help, not just for them, but for yourself too. “To put your hand up, to reach out. There is absolutely help out there,” she says. It’s a lesson the actress had to learn herself, something that was “a very big thing for people like me who go, ‘I can take care of you. I can do it’… At some point, you just have to say, ‘I love you and I’m here when you decide to do the work. If you don’t, then that’s it.”
It’s not easy, but according to Kidman, the good news is that there’s an “extraordinary life” out there for people willing to do the work. One of the couple’s missions in life is now to be there to support others who are ready to make a change: “Both he and I that’s part of our purpose in terms of life… it’s part of our service,” the actress says.
Watch the interview below: