Lydia Night is speaking out. The Regrettes’ frontwoman accused SWMRS drummer Joey Armstrong of emotional and sexual abuse in a lengthy Instagram post on Monday (July 20), which Billboard confirmed was penned by the musician.
The 19-year-old alleged that Armstrong, who is the son of Green Day‘s Billie Joe Armstrong, sent her a direct message in 2017 on Instagram. The message, according to Night, was to invite The Regrettes to tour with his band, which kicked off a relationship between the two that began when she was 16 and he was 22, and ended shortly before her 18th birthday.
“For so long I viewed it just as being toxic and not something valid enough to share but now I know that what I actually experienced was emotional abuse and sexual coercion by someone in a position of power over me,” she wrote.
The Regrettes’ vocalist shared in her Instagram post that what prompted her to speak out were the allegations of sexual misconduct in the music industry she’d been reading about recently, but also the statement that SWMRS released on July 19 that she called “unbelievably hypocritical.”
“We want to acknowledge how brave it is of these survivors to come forward and rehash their trauma. To put yourself and your trauma in the spotlight is a terrifying and selfless act,” SWMRS began in their lengthy statement, noting the stories of abuse survivors in the music scene. “It is exciting that we are in a place where we can have these conversations and take the survivors’ stories seriously. These stories are sparking a long overdue conversation about abuse in our community.”
“While this is really heartbreaking information to grapple with, the bottom line is that we are undergoing a revolutionary transformation in how we treat each other,” SWMRS continued. “We have to collectively work to forge a new standard for ourselves as young men.”
Night’s account on Instagram claims that Armstrong’s alleged abuses include how he “dry humped” her, made “rules” to “consistently remind me of his position of power,” “shaming” her on occasions when she told him she “wasn’t comfortable” with what they were doing, “gaslighting me or ignoring me when I didn’t give my consent,” “pressuring” her into performing sexual acts, and more.
“Everytime we saw each other, he made sure to put us in a situation where he could get sexual satisfaction,” she wrote.
Night’s post notes that she ended the relationship two months before her 18th birthday, and eventually told her parents, who didn’t know what had been allegedly happening with Armstrong. “The more I processed my trauma, the more horrified I became at the thought of touring with them but wanted to honor our commitment,” she wrote of the period preceding a previously booked tour with SWMRS.
The Regrettes’ vocalist claimed that this tour felt different from ones past. “We were treated like strangers from a band I had previously considered to be some of my closest friends,” she wrote. “It felt like SWMRS and their team were doing anything they could to exert power and punish me.”
“It took me years to finally understand that I am a victim of abuse,” she continued. “I’m still remembering traumatic events from Joe and I’s relationship 3 years later. It hit me hard and took a major toll on my self esteem.”
Night added that she did confront Armstrong about his alleged treatment of her, and that he had apologized. She also said that SWMRS lead singer Cole Becker “dropped a handwritten apology letter from Joey” at her house earlier in July, but that it didn’t address any of the alleged abuse.
In her post, Night said that Armstrong contacted her after his band posted their statement. “Joey texted me to follow up on the letter which was a completely transparent attempt at feeling out what I was gonna do knowing the pure hypocrisy their statement held,” she wrote. “My goal here isn’t to ‘cancel’ anyone but to further the conversation on the intricacies of power abuse, grooming and manipulation that not only exists in the music industry, but in so many industries.”
“I want the womxn who aren’t in my position to know that I stand with you and hope this can provide comfort no matter how you choose to tell or not tell your story,” she continued. “You are valid.”
On Tuesday afternoon, the SWMRS drummer posted a response to Night’s allegations via the band’s Instagram account.
“While I don’t agree with some of the things she said about me, it’s important that she be allowed to say them and that she be supported for speaking out,” he wrote. “I respect her immensely and fully accept that I failed her as a partner. I was selfish and I didn’t treat her the way she deserves to have been treated both during our relationship and in the two years since we broke up. I have apologized to her privately and I hope she can forgive me, if and when she is ready to do so. I own my mistakes and will work hard to regain the trust that I lost.”
Read Night’s and Armstrong’s full statements below:
If you or anyone you know has experienced sexual abuse, contact the National Sexual Assault Hotline for free, confidential support 24/7.