I was accused of being a Satanist a few times this year. I spent May through June opening for Lana Del Rey and 70 percent of the crowd probably hadn’t heard of Grimes. When you’re performing a really aggressive set in broad daylight for a crowd of sober 13-year-olds and people wearing flower crowns, it’s like a test. I wanted to win everyone over, but there were times when I just thought: “Shit. Sorry, guys.”
But it was touring with Lana that I think I finally got good at playing live. I never walk onto the stage and worry that something might go really wrong now. Although I did get seriously hurt when we did a show in Toronto. My brothers and a whole group of friends came onstage during my set, and I fell down at one point. I was having so much fun that I didn’t notice I had twisted my ankle and torn my ACL. We all drank beer and watched Lana’s show, and I danced on the injury for the entire time. It was the best day ever — and then in the middle of the night I woke up and had to go to the hospital.
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The toughest part of the year overall was finishing Art Angels. It’s hard to make your hobby your job. It had been two-and-a-half years since I’d put out something new, and I had been casually making songs that obviously sound very, very different. The whole time I had this feeling like it might all blow up in my face and people might hate it. I worried that what I was going to put out into the world might be the worst decision ever.
When a notion like that looms in your head for such a long time, it becomes a huge source of stress. I just needed to get it out so I could not have that feeling anymore. Then, at least, you know the outcome. The not knowing is worse.
But I also think that experience might be the most difficult thing I will ever have to go through on a creative level. Because I now know people accept change. In a way, the future becomes less daunting.
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For now though, I just really want to focus on doing more music videos and being more ambitious with them. Learning how to ride a horse would be pretty sick, too. And if I get the chance, I want to go to Mongolia. I’m really into Genghis Khan right now.
*As told to Brooke Mazurek
This story originally appeared in the Dec. 19 issue of Billboard.