Britney Spears is continuing to open up about her life and experiences after the end of her restrictive 13-year-conservatorship. In an Instagram post shared Monday (Aug. 22), the pop star explained how there are things she’ll never move past, and why she shares photos and videos of herself in which she thinks she looks great.
“Everybody’s life seems so perfect and when I post things I think most of the time I’ve been utterly and completely embarrassed of my past … and who can forget those documentaries???” she wrote in a lengthy caption paired with a close-up photo of a pink rose. “So yes, I do try and post me looking my best or what it may seem to be the good life.”
“Well the truth is, my spirits are better but I will forever be traumatized by my past experience for life,” the 40-year-old star continued. “There is no way to fix me, my emotions and my sensitivity … therapy, all of it !!! I think I will need some sort of miracle for my emotions.”
The star, went on to explain that she still cries herself to sleep, and is incredibly insecure. However, Spears that now, she’s learning to use the word “more.” “I’ve never had seconds at the dinner table,” she revealed “I WANT MORE lately … It’s called MORE and maybe MORE isn’t so bad … and opening to MORE and the DOOR.”
A Los Angeles judge ended the singer’s conservatorship in November last year. During the 13 years that it was in place, her father Jamie Spears — one of the conservators — had control over not only over her finances, but also many aspects of her personal life and health. That included, alleged the star, not being allowed to remove a birth control device to start a family. Her attorney has vowed to investigate alleged wrongdoings by the conservatorship.
Since regaining the freedom to make choices for herself, Spears has married longtime boyfriend Sam Asghari. She is also set to release a collaborative reworking of Elton John’s 1972 hit “Tiny Dancer,” now titled “Hold Me Closer.”