In her latest Instagram post, Britney Spears is opening up to fans about the double-edged sword of her looming freedom.
Even though she’s still fighting to end the conservatorship that has controlled her personal life and finances for the past 13 years, she scored a big victory last month when her father was suspended as the conservator of her estate. In her new post, she says she’s already had a lot more freedom, but she’s worried she might mess it all up by making a “mistake.”
“For so many years I was always told if I succeeded at things, it could end … and it never did !!!” Spears writes. “I worked so hard but now that it’s here and getting closer and closer to ending I’m very happy but there’s a lot of things that scare me !!!”
One of those things that scares her is the overly aggressive paparazzi that lurk outside her home. “I don’t like that they try to scare me and jump out like they do … it’s like they want me to do something crazy!!!”
In the post — which features a photo of Spears’ fully decorated Christmas tree — the pop star also talks about being allowed to drive just four months ago for the first time since her conservatorship began, and how she can’t believe this was allowed to happen to someone in the United States.
“I haven’t done anything to be treated the way I have for the past 13 years !!!” she writes. “I’m disgusted with the system and wish I lived in another country !!! I’m celebrating Christmas way early this year … because why not ???!!! I believe any reason to find more joy in life is a good idea.”
In her final lines, she says she’s steering clear of the entertainment business (“which is all I’ve ever known my whole life”) for now, and that her family is lucky that she hasn’t agreed to do any interviews about her conservatorship yet. “Lord have mercy on my family’s souls if I ever do an interview !!!”
As for what’s next in Spears’ court battle, the next hearing is scheduled for Nov. 12, where a judge will determine if her conservatorship should end for good.
See Spears’ full post below: