After a CGI and star-studded 2016 Emmy Awards opening montage, Jimmy Kimmel delivered what’s usually the make-or-break moment for any awards show host — the opening monologue.
As always, the reliably hilarious Kimmel delivered with one incisive punch line after another, targeting the Oscars, Donald Trump and the man indirectly responsible for Trump’s national popularity, Apprentice creator Mark Burnett.
But before tackling Trump, his first targets were Sarah Paulson and her Emmys guest Marcia Clark, who she portrayed on The People vs. O.J. Simpson. “Everyone in L.A. knows if you wanna win, sit next to Marcia Clark,” Kimmel quipped of Paulson’s Emmy chances. While the dig got a thumbs down from Paulson, his next O.J. joke got a laugh from the two Marcias. “This must be very strange for you,” Kimmel said, addressing Clark. “Are you rooting for O.J. to win this time?”
Pointing out the diversity of the 2016 Emmy nominees, Kimmel joked, “The Emmys are so diverse, the Oscars are now telling people we’re one of their closest friends.”
Naturally, since it’s 2016, he couldn’t let a monologue pass without a mention of reality TV star-turned-presidential contender Donald Trump
“Television can also tear us apart. If it wasn’t for television would Donald Trump be running for president?” Kimmel asked. “No. He’d be home right now quietly rubbing up against his wife Malaria [sic] while she pretends to be asleep.”
But Kimmel didn’t just target Trump — he targeted the man who gave Trump his reality TV career, producer Mark Burnett.
“Thanks to Mark Burnett, we don’t have to watch reality shows anymore before we’re living in one,” Kimmel said to Burnett, who laughed nervously. “Who do you have lined up to fill the spot on the Supreme Court? Miley Cyrus or Cee-Lo?”
Kimmel said if Trump wins and builds the wall, Burnett will be the first person Americans throw over.