Miranda Lambert and Maren Morris are full of very, very bad ideas about how to get back at a cheating man. But as mad as they are on the new joint single they released on Monday morning (Aug. 26), one simple truth shines through: they are “Way Too Pretty For Prison.” Lambert has been teasing songs off her upcoming album Wildcard (Nov. 1), and “Prison” sounds like an instant honky tonk jukebox classic.
“They don’t have rhinestone ball and chains/ Lunch? trays don’t come with Chardonnay/ The? bars there ain’t got boys to buy us drinks,” Lambert drawls over a mid-tempo, ambling beat. “We’d stick out like two bottled blondes/ I must admit it don’t sound fun/ For? fifteen girls to have to share one sink.” And even though Miranda laments that “he’s cheated, he’s a villain,” assuring Maren that under other circumstances she’s surely help take that snake out, there’s just one problem.
“But? we’re way too pretty for prison/ Hard time ain’t our kind of livin’,” they sing together before getting to the real fashion fiasco they might face in lockup. “And I don’t want to talk about/ The way those jumpsuits wash us out/ We’re? way too pretty for prison.” The felonious new song follows on the heels of “It All Comes Out in the Wash,” which was Lambert’s first single in over a year. Morris has her own ideas about making things right in the second verse (think antifreeze and arsenic in his drink, maybe cutting the brake lines on his truck), but she also knows that prison is definitely not the answer.
Besides, they realize, “the state won’t pay for lash extensions/ No Sun Tan City, not to mention/ That lack of waxing situation.” Nope. Morris will join Lambert on the last leg of her Roadside Bars & Pink Guitars tour in Charlottesville on Nov. 6. The tour wraps at the Maui Songwriters Festival on Dec. 5.
Listen to “Prison” below.