One of my favorite things about The Masked Singer is host Nick Cannon asking each week’s eliminated contestant why on earth they chose to slip on an animal costume to sing in front of cameras. My wild guess would be it’s for the same reason Cannon chose to emcee Fox’s latest foray into high-class entertainment: a paycheck.
This time around, it’s Bee, Peacock, Raven and Monster performing for panelists Robin Thicke, Jenny McCarthy, Ken Jeong and Nicole Scherzinger. Like last week, each contestant now has a revealing item about who they could be wheeled out on stage.
A group number kicks the night off. When I hear the opening strains of the Black Eyed Peas’ “I Gotta Feeling,” I know we’re in for an edgy night.
Side note: Getting to watch and expend brain cells writing about The Masked Singer on my birthday is a gift — no; make that a blessing — I know I’ll never forget.
Bee belts out Miley Cyrus’ “Wrecking Ball”
In her latest clues package, Bee hints that her career has been “all peaches and marmalade ever since” she landed a recording contract at a young age. She adds that being on this show and singing other people’s songs makes her feel like “I’m every bee.” Nice references to Gladys Knight (Georgia peaches), Patti LaBelle (“Lady Marmalade”) and Chaka Khan (“I’m Every Woman”), but what’s a red herring here and what’s the truth?
After expertly tearing through Miley Cyrus’ chart-topping smash “Wrecking Ball,” Bee’s revealing item speaks volumes. It’s a bakeware set, and Walmart shoppers must be bouncing up and down on the couch, because they all know Miss Patti bakes one mean sweet potato pie.
Ken Jeong takes this all much too literally, however, and suggests Bee could be Anita Baker. Sigh.
Peacock sings John Legend’s “All Of Me”
Peacock is back for the first time in three episodes to croon John Legend’s biggest hit. His newest clue as to his identity is a rainbow flag he whips around in front of the camera like he’s a bullfighter. Robin Thicke’s mind is on Neil Patrick Harris, but this multi-colored hint only reinforces my assumption that the feathered performer is onetime Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat star Donny Osmond.
Backing up this theory is Peacock’s revealing item, which is a wig similar to the one Osmond wore in the 1999 film version of Joseph.
“Because of this wig, I was thrown in jail,” Peacock notes, recounting a key plot point from the Andrew Lloyd Webber musical. Jenny McCarthy is the only panelist also thinking Peacock is Donny.
Raven attempts Sara Bareilles’ “Brave”
So, clearly there must have been a discount on royalties for pop songs released in 2013 the week this episode was shot, because “Brave” is the third tune in a row from that year performed tonight.
Raven continues to make references to the loss of her beloved, and to being a talk show host. Because of this, the panelists guess it might be someone from The View under the dark costume. Either way, I’m pretty confident we’re going to find out Raven’s identity tonight, as her vocal talent pales in comparison to Bee and Peacock.
Once Raven’s revealing item is hauled out — an Emmy award — Robin Thicke announces he thinks Ricki Lake might be behind the mask. And then this classy exchange happens between the panelists:
Ken Jeong: “Star Jones, maybe?”
Robin Thicke: “Star Jones. That’s very interesting.”
Jenny McCarthy: “No. [Star Jones has] got bigger boobs.”
Nicole Scherzinger: “She could have strapped hers down.”
This is the reality show we deserve in 2019, America.
Monster croons “American Woman”
In a rare clever moment on this show, Monster gives a performance of “American Woman,” a song first made famous in 1970 by Canadian rockers The Guess Who. Get it? Guess Who? Masked Singer? Yes? No? Clutching at straws, I suppose.
Monster makes a fairly decent vocal showing this week after cluing us all in that, despite having his “share of dark days,” he’s still a fighter. His revealing item is a pair of headphones, and I’m at a total loss here. So is the rest of the panel, it seems. Moving on.
Eliminated: It’s Raven’s time to leave the nest. The bird mask comes off, and sure enough, there’s Ricki Lake. Robin Thicke, who admits to having been a huge fan of Ricki’s talk show while growing up, gets the crown yet again.
“The raven is about metamorphosis. It’s about death, but it’s also about rebirth,” Ricki tells the audience. “I went through the loss of my husband last year, and it really was an opportunity for me to share my journey through his loss. He was the best thing that ever happened to me.”
Oh, Ricki — where’ve you been, girl? Seeing her smiling face up there, it hits me that this is the first Masked Singer contestant we’re sorely missing these days from the world of entertainment.
Give this woman a movie role, Hollywood! Give her another talk show. Just, you know, don’t give her a recording contract or anything crazy like that.