We all knew ahead of last Sunday’s Game of Thrones season seven premiere that at some point during this season, Ed Sheeran was going to show up in some capacity. But I don’t think people were expecting his cameo to come so soon, or to be so… I don’t know, jarring? I personally was kind of expecting him to be an extra in the background that you don’t really notice until someone on reddit points it out or something like that.
The way he was featured in a scene went on too long, but that he wasn’t really even the main character in, was just kind of distracting and didn’t really make a lot of sense. And of course Twitter had a field day with it, because everyone on the Internet loves hating the same thing all at once.
But here’s the thing: Ed Sheeran should totally come back for episode two. If we have to sit through an extended cameo from an underused Ed Sheeran on Game of Thrones, then we deserve an awesome Ed Sheeran death scene for our trouble. And frankly, the singer/songwriter seems like the sort of dude who would agree to appear on Game of Thrones only on the condition that gets an awesome death scene, too. He seems like the type of dude who gets it, you know? And if you know that everybody on the show dies eventually, wouldn’t you at least want to do so in a particularly badass manner?
So the scene in which our British hero appears opens with the recently murderous Arya Stark riding a horse through the forest and coming across about eight young-looking soldiers sitting around a campfire eating a rabbit, as Sheeran sings something about women’s hands being warm or something; whatever, doesn’t matter. The important thing is that they’re all Lannister soldiers, loyal to Cersei, and Arya tells all of them that she’s on her way to King’s Landing “to kill the Queen,” which they all laugh at. No spoilers: That’s pretty much the whole scene, it just goes on for like five minutes, presumably so that we can get as many out-of-focus headshots of the Sheerio himself into the show as possible.
It’s a scene that’s meant to humanize Arya; yeah, sure, she’s on a trek to kill a bunch of people and take revenge for what they’ve done to her family, but she’s still a girl underneath all that chain mail and knife training, and she’s probably lonely and it’s cool to have some friends — they want to share their rabbit with her! That’s nice. Arya is like the Lil Uzi Vert of Game of Thrones: all her friends are dead. Maybe she’s just happy to share some quality time with some kindly dudes and their dead, half-eaten bunny.
But… nah. They’re Lannister soldiers, and Arya’s gonna kill them, which means she’s totally gonna kill Ed Sheeran, and all we can hope for is that it’s awesome. I had this conversation with some friends — both of whom were arguing strenuously that they did not want to see Ed Sheeran back in the show for episode two of this season — as to why he should come back, and why his death scene will be dope.
**SPOILERS AHEAD**
Scene: Dead of night. All Lannister bros are asleep under the trees near the clearing where their campfire was buring, and still is — but the light has dimmed and the fire is mostly just embers. Sounds of snoring fill the air. Camera close up on Arya sleeping nearby.
Suddenly, Arya’s eyes flash awake. As quietly as possible, she gets up from where she was sleeping and picks up her sword Needle — remember she grabbed it from the hiding spot when she left that island place or whatever at the end of season six? — and stalks through the campsite, silently and instantly killing the Lannister soldier bros while they sleep, and gathering a few things of theirs that she could use on her journey towards King’s Landing.
She takes a bite out of the rabbit, a piece of which one of the soldiers had been hiding to eat later. She thinks the job is done.
BUT WAIT. Suddenly, she hears faint sounds coming from the direction of the campfire, which has begun to crackle again. Are those… guitar chords? Is that a melody that’s being hummed?
Intrigued, but wary, Arya ventures forward towards the fire. Through a patch of trees, she can see Ed Sheeran’s face illuminated by the soft light of the fire; he’s sitting on a log next to it, quietly singing a song to himself and staring pensively into the flames. Faintly, she can make out a few words — it’s a song about being far from home and missing the comforts of growing up, back when there were fewer things to worry about and more fun to be had.
Arya steps forward into the light of the fire. Sheeran looks up and smiles slightly, a little embarrassed to be caught singing by the fire, but not so much that he stops the song. Arya sits on the log next to him, remembering her own family that she has lost and wondering where her remaining siblings could be in this world — or even if they still are alive.
The song fades out, Sheeran stops playing guitar, and the two sit in silence for a moment, staring into the fire contemplatively. After a few moments weighted down with melancholy feels, Sheeran turns to Arya.
“Hey—” **Arya stabs him through the heart**
End scene.