In the latest conversation with her mom and “Gammy” — Jada Pinkett Smith and Adrienne Banfield-Norris, respectively — Willow revealed that when it comes to her polyamory, she’s mainly interested in refusing the limits placed on relationships by society. “I feel like the main foundation is the freedom to be able to create a relationship style that works for you and not just stepping into monogamy because that’s what everyone around you says is the right thing to do,” she said. “I was like, how can I structure the way that I approach relationships with that in mind?”
When her grandmother questioned whether polyamory was “all just centered around sex,” Willow quickly rebutted with an illustrative example. “Let’s say you haven’t always been the kind of person that wanted to have sex all the time. But your partner is,” she said. “Are you gonna be the person to say, you know, ‘Just because I don’t have these needs, you can’t have them either?’ And so that’s kind of one of the reasons why I actually was interested in poly because I was introduced to it through kind of a nonsexual lens.”
Pinkett-Smith said that when she learned Willow was polyamorous, she had no problem with it — especially if it meant her daughter was thinking critically about relationships. “When you were like, ‘Hey, this is my get down’, I was like, ‘I totally get it,'” she said. “Wanting to set up your life in a way that you can have what it is that you want, I think anything goes as long as the intentions are clear.”
When it came to marriage specifically, Pinkett-Smith also agreed with Willow that monogamy being the “only option” for married couples is an “antiquated” notion. “It can’t be because I’m told I’m supposed to do it this way. That, my dear, is deeply antiquated and no longer works,” she said.
For Banfield-Norris, despite being through multiple divorces, marriage is something that she still deeply believes in and wants to uphold. “There are still people enjoy marriage as it is today. I happen to enjoy being married, even though I’ve been married several times and I’ve been through [divorce].” But when Willow and Jada quickly explained that polyamory isn’t aimed at “ending” marriage as it is, Banfield-Norris nodded, saying, “OK, I’m good then.”
The new episode also features guest appearances from writer Gabrielle Smith and her married boyfriend Alex to talk about their polyamorous relationship, along with Polyamorous While Asian creator Michelle Hy and relationship coach Effy Blue for their takes on polyamory.
Watch the full episode here, and check out a clip from the show below: