Press day hasn’t been easy for Farrah Moan: “I’m trying not to cry right now. This is very hard,” admits the Vegas showgirl, the latest queen eliminated from RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars 4.
Farrah’s elimination was especially painful given an altercation with another contestant, Gia Gunn. During the episode, Gia approached Farrah to rehash beef that happened months before the competition started filming — something Farrah thought was history. “I was completely blindsided, because I thought me and Gia were cool,” she tells Billboard. “Every interaction that we had on and off set was very pleasant, so I was very taken aback that that became a subject.”
Below, Billboard catches up with Farrah to discuss her elimination, her relationships with both Gia Gunn and Valentina (the queen who sent her packing) and working alongside Christina Aguilera: “I’m so lucky that somebody that I look up to so much, that so much of my drag inspiration comes from, accepts me, includes me, and I love her so much for that.”
Girl, this episode gave me so much anxiety — what a rollercoaster. I can’t even imagine what it’s like to be in the actual competition. What do you —
With an actual person out to get you.
The tea is hot today! Before we get there, what did you feel that you had to prove coming into All Stars?
I mean, to be completely honest, I really just wanted to have a good time, and I just wanted to make memories, and show the world that I’ve evolved the drag. I kind of wanted people to see the artistic vision of my mind and my aesthetic. You know, yes, I wanted to win. But most importantly, I just wanted to have fun and… I didn’t quite get to do that.
Well, so when you saw Gia was there, did you suspect that she might bring up the drama from outside of Drag Race?
I had no idea that she was gonna bring up this little altercation at the club, because we had already talked about it. We had already gotten through it. It became very obvious what was going on. I was like, “Okay, so this is what you’re gonna use to your air time. Okay, got it.”
As a viewer, I saw a bit of evolution in you: I don’t feel like you would have come back as hard as you did with your comeback — when you said you didn’t need to create drama to get screentime. I feel like in season nine, you wouldn’t have said something like that.
Well, season nine, no one was trying to do attention-seeking things to get airtime. You know what I mean? Season nine was like a special season for queer television, because we showed the world that we didn’t have to have crazy drama, that we could all get along — that we could talk about real subjects, like eating disorders. We covered so many topics that were real for us, and I think people relate to the season nine cast because we are such a close knit group and we showed the world that you don’t have to be petty to be on a reality TV show, you know? Until that reunion, of course…
So looking back, did you let Gia get under your skin?
It hurt my feelings a lot, and it … I’m a very anxious. Anxiety is something that I have dealt with my whole life, so her coming up out of nowhere and picking this huge fight with me fucked with me a little bit. But it is what it is.
What’s your relationship with Gia now?
Regardless of what she said, we were never good friends. I hung out with her one time, so she never should have gone on TV and said I consider her a good friend, because I knew she was trouble and I stayed away. And I know that she’s trouble now, and I’m staying away, and you know what? We can work with each other and be cordial, but every time I see her, she wants to apologize for how she treated me on All Stars — but then she’ll go and attack and talk shit. So I just don’t trust her.
Coming into the season, you also had some drama with Valentina, but it was resolved. Did her eliminating you affect your friendship?
That’s such a hard subject because there was so much going on that day. I really did not wanna leave. I was in the start of the girl group routine, so it was hard for me to see how everyone else was doing. It was very hard for me to feel like I was the worst one, you know? And it was hard to not take it personally but I truly do feel if it was my time, it was just my time.
Valentina and I, we have grown a lot together, and I don’t want to think that it was personal. I just want to think that she was fair, and she did what she had to do.
Okay, the rest of my questions are fun, I promise.
I know, you’ve got me over here sweating. [Laughs.]
Now that you’re out of the competition, who are you rooting for?
Oh, I’m rooting for all the girls, to be honest. I mean, except Gia. I’m kidding, I’m kidding. [Laughs] I’m rooting for all the girls. When I saw what everyone brought to the competition, everyone brought some of the best drag that television is ever gonna see, and I just want everyone to get to have their shining moment.
Outside of Drag Race, you got to perform alongside Christina Aguilera at Opening Ceremony’s New York Fashion Week presentation — and both Nicki Minaj and Troye Sivan were in the front row. What was that like?
That was very, very cool. They kind of threw me into it very suddenly, so I flew to New York, and then landed at midnight, and then woke up immediately for rehearsal. Christina Aguilera — I’m just so lucky that my idol, first of all knows that I exist, but second of all, wants to include me in so much. I got to go on stage with her and announce her at LA Pride. I got to go on stage on her show for the Liberation Tour. You know, she just always makes sure to keep me included.
That’s awesome. So do you have her phone number yet?
No. No, no, no. [Laughs] That would be crazy. But she makes sure to get a hold of me when she needs to.
Now that they are bringing back former All Stars, would you return for another round if given the opportunity?
It’s really hard to say. This season was very hard on me, mentally and emotionally. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt overwhelmed by a career choice, so I think maybe for mental health sake, at this point, if they asked me, probably no. But maybe in a year or so. You never know. I hate saying no to things…
We’re seeing drag queens on A Star is Born, The Simpsons, on Netflix — everywhere. Do you have any big plans for 2019 yet?
You know, for 2019, I just wanna stop taking things too seriously and have fun with my drag again, I have some music written. I have some things I’m working on, but I ultimately just want to stay on track and keep turning looks.