This time around, Turtle clues us in that he’s a method actor, he runs before he performs and he’s not a trained dancer. He also holds up a comic book featuring a spoof of himself called Shellboy, a la Hellboy.
Turtle barrels through a performance of Kygo’s rendition of Steve Winwood classic “Higher Love,” and it’s a confetti-filled spectacle. He gives one last clue, that he’s “not known for just one thing,” that has Robin and Nicole thinking he’s either Nick or Drew Lachey from 98 Degrees. Jenny goes with Chris Evans. Sure, Jen.
Group A: Kangaroo
Kangaroo laments that she’s incredibly nervous every time she gets on stage. She then pulls a doll of a kangaroo out of her pouch, which is supposed to be a clue rather than just something weirder than the usual that we’re subjected to with this show.
The masked marsupial’s performance of Dixie Chicks’ “Not Ready to Make Nice” finds her showing off her half-note range. Jenny and Nicole think Kangaroo is Amber Rose and LeAnn Rimes, respectively, but I’d argue that LeAnn, at least, could command a stage a little more impressively than what we’ve seen here. Next!
Group A: White Tiger
White Tiger continues to be the worst. Who let this big cat out of the strip club and onto a soundstage? His clues include the Backpack Kid “floss” dance and the fact that he wrote a best-selling book. His song choice? Right Said Fred’s “I’m Too Sexy.”
Jenny is adamant that White Tiger is one-time football player Rob “Gronk” Gronkowski. Sounds about right.
Least amount of votes: White Tiger. Shocking.
Group B: Kitty
Kitty whines that, since a young age, she’s struggled with her self image. Golly, sweetie, we’ve never heard this showbiz cliche before. Do go on.
After a clue that lets us know she’s somehow connected to last season’s contestant Tree, Kitty delivers a wedding singer-level performance of Celine Dion’s “It’s All Coming Back To Me Now.” Nicole Richie, Vanessa Hudgens and Emma Roberts are the names the panelists throw out. Ken puts the cherry on top by suggesting Kitty is Avril Lavigne. What an utter fool.
Group B: Banana
Yellow phallic symbol Banana informs us that although he’s blue collar, he’s not a stand-up comedian, as some of the panelists suspected in previous episodes. Another clue is that he suffered a traumatic injury in the past and possibly had a mullet haircut. I assume he doesn’t mean the mullet itself was the traumatic injury, but I’m not 100 percent certain.
Banana actually turns out a pretty solid take on Lynyrd Skynyrd’s controversial souther rock staple “Sweet Home Alabama.” The panelists are all over the place with their guesses, which include Poison frontman Bret Michaels, Brad Paisley and Billy Ray Cyrus.
Group B: Frog
One clue Frog serves up is a statue of a knight in shining armor. He also states that he’s not a trained dancer, which you’d never know from all the fancy footwork the amphibian does on stage. But perhaps the most telling line comes when Frog criticizes one of Ken’s previous guesses on the contestant’s identity by saying the panelist was “wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong” to the tune of Sisqo’s “Thong Song.”
Frog does a performance of yet another hip hop classic in the form of 1992 Kris Kross party jam “Jump.” Ken seizes on the telling “wrong” clue and puts out there that Frog might be Sisqo. Robin sticks with B2K crooner Omarion and Jenny goes with Lil Romeo.
Least amount of votes: Banana gets the smackdown in his group and faces elimination.
Group C: Night Angel
A tricycle is the main clue we get from Night Angel, which could mean she was in a musical trio. She also notes that she’s not just a voice; she’s also a mogul. Well, whattya know?
After belting out Andra Day’s “Rise Up,” Night Angel has the panelists thinking she’s either Tamar Braxton, Brandy or Tisha Campbell. Honestly, this one’s still a toss-up. The only thing that’s certain is that, despite being an angel, her costume is damn creepy.
Group C: Rhino
Rhino may not look it, but he says he’s a musician who has “risen up the Billboard charts.” He goes on to note, “You may even have an album of mine.” I’d like to point out here that Crazy Frog was once a thing that happened on the charts, so take all of this with a grain of salt, kids.
Rhino performs recent Jonas Brothers single “What a Man Gotta Do.” Robin gives out the most random guess ever with Guns N’ Roses bassist Duff McKagan. Nicole thinks Rhino is Vince Gill, while the best Jenny can do is Derek Jeter.
Group C: Astronaut
I feel like we can all agree that Astronaut is likely an *NSYNC member. He even gives us a “no tethers attached” clue. And when he sings Rick Astley’s “Never Gonna Give You Up,” I’m pretty much convinced Astronaut is Chris Kirkpatrick, given the high-pitched vocals.
Ken is the only one thinking along the *NSYNC lines, but puts out JC Chasez’s name. Jenny goes with David Archuleta (what?!) and Nicole guesses Ryan Tedder (sigh).
Least amount of votes: Rhino heads to the bottom three.
Eliminated: Rhino and Banana are safe this week, as White Tiger ultimately gets the lowest amount of votes from the audience and panel. And in the end, Jenny was right: the giant cat turns out to be Rob Gronkowski. What a magical world.