'The Masked Singer' Episode 7: Alien Gets Blown Out The Airlock

alien the masked singer
Michael Becker / FOX

Alien and Nick Cannon in the “All Together Now” episode of The Masked Singer  on Feb. 13, 2019 on FOX.

Seven weeks in. I can no longer remember a time before The Masked Singer existed.

If you dare to imagine the vast sea of yesteryear’s “celebrities” lurking in the shadows, feverishly awaiting their second shot at what passes for stardom in 2019 via an arc on Fox’s new smash hit series, then you risk facing the undeniable truth that this could all carry on for an eternity’s worth of seasons. Joey Lawrence and Clay Aiken 2.0 are a foregone conclusion.

But let’s live in the here and now. Things are flying along at a furious pace, with only six Season 1 contestants left. After Ricki Lake was revealed to be under the mask of the Raven last week, each of the remaining disguised crooners get a shot at stepping up to the mic.

Curb Your Enthusiasm alum J.B. Smoove joins steady panelists Robin Thicke, Jenny McCarthy, Ken Jeong and Nicole Scherzinger as a guest, because why not?. Below, a breakdown of the shenanigans.

Monster sings “I Love Rock ’n’ Roll”

Monster tosses out more clues, including references to growing up in the South and winning awards. After his performance of “I Love Rock ’n Roll,” a song made famous nearly 40 years ago by Joan Jett, J.B. Smoove declares, “I don’t know what the hell’s going on around here, but this is incredible.”

At this point I’ll mention that apparently gone is the Revealing Item wheeled out for each contestant in previous episodes. Now we’re given a Moment Of Truth -- and Monster’s is this: “I was not on the show In Living Color, but my shoe size is 12.”

Lion goes with Lady Gaga’s “Diamond Heart”

The clues package for Lion does all but shriek, “It’s Rumer Willis!” For instance, the 30-year-old daughter of Bruce Willis and Demi Moore was born in Hailey, Idaho (hinted at it in the debriefing of clues), has multiple sisters and half-sisters (also acknowledged) and spends time in Chicago (ditto) while shooting Empire.

Lady Gaga's Joanne album opener “Diamond Heart” is Lion’s latest song of choice, and her performance causes J.B. Smoove to compare her to a piece of “gaudy jewelry” he would wear around his neck if he was a rapper. Fun!

Alien attempts Elle King’s “Ex’s & Oh’s”

Once Alien off-handedly mentions the figure 1956 during a fake law office commercial, it becomes obvious now more than ever that the lithe, red-suited diva is La Toya Jackson (who was born that year).

A so-so jaunt through “Ex’s & Oh’s” follows, as does the Moment of Truth that Alien “has been on the New York Times bestseller list twice.” Naturally, you’ve all religiously pored over My Family, The Jacksons along with La Toya: Growing Up In The Jackson Family, right?

Bee belts out Tina Turner’s “What’s Love Got To Do With It”

Bee opts to sing “a sexy song from a very close friend.” Depending on which of the show’s experts you ask -- or which clues you choose to go with -- it’s either Gladys Knight, Patti LaBelle, Anita Baker or Tina Turner under that yellow and black garb. That Turner is the artist who recorded Bee’s song choice, 1984 chart-topper “What’s Love Got To Do With It,” makes no difference to the panelists; they’re pulling names out of a mental hat and probably just praying the check doesn’t bounce at this point.

In her Moment of Truth, Bee is asked by Robin Thicke if she’s ever won a Grammy. “Actually,” she notes, “I have 10.”

Rabbit reheats Stevie Wonder’s “Isn’t She Lovely”

If it’s a Southern-fried rendition of “Isn’t She Lovely” you’re looking for, Rabbit has hopped up to the task. He drops more references to *NSYNC’s No Strings Attached era and being part of a herd before tearing into the Stevie Wonder classic. Between Nicole Scherzinger and Jenny McCarthy, they’ve zeroed in on the hare being either JC Chasez or Joey Fatone.

Rabbit’s Moment Of Truth: “I have 17 tattoos on my body.” Anyone reading been intimate with the not-Justin *NSYNC members? Get at me.

Peacock rocks The Weeknd’s “Can’t Feel My Face”

Golly. It hits me that these are some of the most current pop songs The Masked Singer has offered up thus far. And by “current,” I mean they’re tunes from the past half-decade.

Peacock, who says he’s been getting fan mail since he “was a wee little peachick,” knocks out an electrifying performance of "Can’t Feel My Face” that gets the audience on their feet.

Jenny McCarthy tells the singing and dancing mystery bird he was “born to be an entertainer,” then once again suggests it’s likely Donny Osmond under all the feathers.

J.B. Smoove quips, “I know this whole thing is a cult.” I ponder this for a fair amount of time.

Eliminated: It’s time to beam the Alien back to Planet Jackson. Props are due to Nicole Scherzinger this week, as she correctly guessed some time ago that it’s sweet La Toya under the mask. What a world.


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