Ellen’s Breakfast-Making Butler
DeGeneres dives into what makes her relatable from the start by sharing the story of how she told her friend she would star in a new standup special. When he asked if she thought she was still relatable, she said yes. “Anyway, just then, Batu, my butler, stepped into the library, and he announced that my breakfast was ready,” she recalled. But after Batu forgot to put DeGeneres' towel near the bath he had drawn for her (which overlooked the rose garden, of course) she had to scoot the bath mat across the floor to get to it. That's when she realized, “Oh my God. This is relatable.”
The Gay Drug
While DeGeneres explored some of the struggles she went through due to her coming out, she also managed to make light of her experience, even asking why her sexual orientation wasn't advertised like a drug. “Hi, I’m Ellen DeGeneres and I’d like to talk to you about gay. Do you find yourself in love with, attracted to or just curious about the same sex? Maybe it’s time you try gay.” The side effects? Losing friends and family and unemployment.
Passing Bad Drivers
DeGeneres made a handful of jokes about driving (including that she shouldn’t have a horn because it confuses people who know her as the nice person) and topped it all off by musing about how awkward it is to speed by a slow car only to be stopped at a red light and have them creep up next to you. “Please change, please change,” she chanted, as she demonstrated what it’s like to pretend to be distracted by some random thing in the car.
Emotional Support Animals
DeGeneres also joked about the requirements of getting an emotional support animal, mentioning that she saw a woman try to get on a plane with a peacock. "They didn’t let her on, thank God… not that she doesn’t need it. Clearly she’s crazy." She continued by considering how people end up with emotional support animals in the first place. “It’s the same doctor the prescribes medical marijuana, I’m pretty sure,” she joked. “I’m going to prescribe you pot and a pet.”
Favorite Club Song
“We all have our song,” opened DeGeneres, then showing off her dance skills to Juvenile’s “Back That Ass Up.” “But if that’s your song when you’re 30, it’s still your song when you’re 85,” she continued, hunching over and dancing to the hip-hop tune as the older version of herself.
The Guy Who First Sliced Bread
After DeGeneres poked fun at all the world's nonsensical sayings (including "best thing since sliced bread"), she marveled at how long it took for people to actually slice bread in the course of history. “Jesus broke bread. He didn’t even know how to slice it,” she teased, adding that soldiers probably just “took a stab at it.” “Then finally in 1928, some gay guy -- you know he was gay for sure [said], ‘I refuse to be a barbarian anymore. I’m slicing it,'" she teased.
Looking Into Signs
DeGeneres closed out her comedy special by joking about people who look into signs too much. “They will be like, ‘Uh, I don’t know if I should be in this relationship. There’s a squirrel, squirrels live in trees, trees have leaves, I should leave him!'” But then the comedian shared a personal story: a dream she had about a bird, which ultimately encouraged her to come out. She brought her routine around full-circle. “Whether your bathmat scoot is 50 scoots to get to the towel or three scoots to get to the towel… we are all the same, and we are all relatable.”
With a Netflix subscription, you can watch Relatable here.