Late-Night Weighs In On Justice Anthony Kennedy's Supreme Court Shakeup

Gail Schulman/CBS
Stephen Colbert onĀ The Late Show with Stephen Colbert.

Following the announcement by Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy on Wednesday that he would be retiring after 30 years on the court, late-night hosts across the dial weighed in on the looming ramifications of his decision.

“I never thought I’d say this, but you’re only 81! You know what they say, 81 is the new 79,” Late Show host Stephen Colbert quipped in his monologue.

With Kennedy retiring, President Donald Trump now has the chance to nominate his replacement which could give conservatives a solid majority on the Supreme Court. 

“This is a seismic political event,” Colbert said of Kennedy’s retirement. “I would not trust Trump to fundamentally change the dessert course. Oh, we are supremely screwed.”

Over on the Daily Show, host Trevor Noah noted, "Trump will likely replace [Kennedy] with a Justice who would discriminate and dismantle abortion rights and LGBTQ rights, and that sound you're hearing right now is Mike Pence having his first orgasm."

"I know it's sad to think about and this news is painful to think about...and all hope is dead and nothing can bring it back, but my friend Poncho hear is still going to try," Noah continued, throwing to a viral video of a police dog in training hopping on its officer's chest.

Also on Comedy Central, Jordan Klepper took aim at Kennedy's decision during Wednesday's The Opposition.

“We all know Justice Kennedy was the ‘swing vote’ on the court, and while swinging, while sexy, is deeply immoral,” the host said.

Klepper went on to offer his own suggestions for Kennedy’s replacement: “We don’t want anymore middle-of-the-road Justices, no, we want extremist from the sewer drains on the far right side of the road. Justice Judge Jeanine Pirro, Justice Ted Nugent, or maybe Trump appoints himself. Justice Donald Trump, what could go wrong? He already loves loose fitting clothes and controlling women’s bodies.

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