Trump's Doctor Tells Audience 'How Not Fat He Is' on 'SNL' Cold Open
On Saturday Night Live's cold open on Jan. 20, Beck Bennett, posing as President Donald Trump's doctor, gave an "unbiased, 100 percent accurate health assessment" that flattered Trump's looks, his ability to do the "Tide pod challenge" and his sex drive.
In a spoof of Trump's physical exam on Tuesday, in which White House doctor Ronny Jackson gave a press conference where he stated that he "found no reason whatsoever to think the president has any issues whatsoever with his thought processes" and that Trump had won a perfect score on his cognitive test, Bennett, playing Ronny Jackson, flattered the president's physical condition, from his age to his weight.
Sarah Huckabee Sanders, as played by SNL cast member Aidy Bryant kicked off the sketch by introduced "Dr. Ronny Jackson," saying that he was addressing the press in order to convince them "how now fat he is."
"At the time of examination, the president 71 years and seven months young, his resting heart rate was a cool 68 bpm, his weight a very svelte 248 pounds, he has a gorgeous 44-inch coke-bottle waist, and his height, 75 inches with legs that seem to go on forever," the "doctor" said when arrived at the podium. "It's my expert medical opinion that the president has a rockin' bod with an excellent cushion for the pushin'. And if given the chance, I would."
Answering some skeptical reporters, Bennett maintained that Trump was in "peak physical condition" but that he does take medical supplements including pineapple juice "to keep things sweet."
Answering questions about the president's mental fitness, a hot topic in recent months, the "doctor" responded that Trump passed a cognitive test "with flying colors, almost no hints" that his brain was broken. He explained that, in fairness, doctors usually used the test to make sure that people were not severely cognitively damaged or "a monkey in people clothes."
When cast member Pete Davidson announced himself as a member of Saturday Night Live and asked a question about Stormy Daniels, Huckabee Sanders stepped in to interrupt the briefing. Last week, the Wall Street Journal reported that Trump's personal lawyer had arranged a $130,000 settlement with adult film actress Stephanie Clifford, whose professional name is Stormy Daniels, just before the Nov. 2016 election. According to the Journal, Clifford had privately alleged that she had a brief affair with Trump in 2006, after Trump had had his first child with wife Melania Knavs, and that an NDA was a component of the settlement.
The "doctor," however, was all too happy to comment on Daniels. "Actually, I can't confirm whether the president and Ms. Daniels had relations or not, but I can tell you that if she did, he's a lucky woman," he said. He says that Trump also completed a "sex exam" and that "when he was done, there wasn't a dry eye in the room."
Huckabee Sanders finished off the briefing by saying that Trump passed every exam given to him "physical, mental, the Tide pod challenge" -- referring to the dangerous viral video trend -- "he crushed it."
This article originally appeared on The Hollywood Reporter.