Stephen Colbert Addresses Louis C.K. Allegations, Rips Keith Urban's 'Female'

Scott Kowalchyk/CBS via Getty Images
The Late Show with Stephen Colbert 

On the Late Show on CBS, host Stephen Colbert addressed the damning New York Times expose claiming comedian Louis C.K., who was supposed to appear on the show on Thursday, exposed himself and masturbated in front of five women. Chicago comedy duo Dana Min Goodman and Julia Wolov, comedians Rebecca Corry, Abby Schachner and C.K. collaborator and one-time friend Tig Notaro all spoke to the Times for the story. 

The report came just hours after news broke that the New York premiere of C.K.'s upcoming film, I Love You, Daddy, had been canceled, citing "unexpected circumstances."

Colbert has known C.K. for decades. The two were part of the writers room on The Dana Carvey Show in the '90s, which also included Steve Carell and Robert Smigel.

Colbert opened his monologue tackling the C.K. news head-on. “For those of you tuning in to see my interview with Louis C.K. tonight, I have some bad news. Then I have some really bad news. Louis cancelled his appearance here tonight because The New York Times broke this story today: Five women are accusing Louis C.K. of sexual misconduct."

He added: "When reached for comment, Jesus said, 'bla-bla-bla-bla-bla, I don’t want to hear about it. I was a big fan!’”

"Now these are disturbing allegations and it's just the latest in an avalanche of allegations against powerful, prominent men — Harvey Weinstein, Bill O'Reilly, Roger Ailes, Kevin Spacey," he continued. "And a lot of men look at this behavior and they feel like there's nothing they can do. Well, last night, one man stepped up to 'not do it,' country music star and soul patch safe space Keith Urban," he said, explaining that last night at the Country Music Awards Urban performed his new Harvey Weinstein-inspired female country empowerment anthem.

Colbert then played a clip of the song, but not before issuing a disclaimer. "I just want to be clear, I am a fan of Mr. Urban's and his heart is in the right place. His lyrics? Not so much," he joked.

Urban's song features a chorus of a parade of individual words and short phrases that build a portrait of a woman, including the lyrics, “Baby / girl / woman / child / female.” The song, which Colbert called "the first song ever written by dumping out a bin full of inspirational throw pillows," inspired Colbert to create his own parody ditty. "Ladies of the world, you've got a raw deal. Too many times your voices have been silenced. Well I want to let you know I hear you," he sang. The lyrics also included: "Now be quiet while I explain you to you. Lady, woman, vagina owner, lipstick, bangs, organ donor, piano teacher, appletini, burka, one-piece or bikini, weird blue liquid, pads with wings, Andy Cohen, Nuva rings, yonic, yogurt spoon, tender goddess of the moon."

He ended the bit by joking, "You're welcome ladies, I fixed it."

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