Noel Gallagher Has Some Gross Thoughts on Zayn Malik's Sex Life

Lawrence Watson
Noel Gallagher photographed in 2015.

The Oasis bros have emphatic opinions on seemingly everything under the sun, so it should come as no surprise that in a new interview with Rolling Stone, Noel Gallagher shared his detailed concerns about Zayn Malik's sex life.

When asked for his thoughts on Malik's surprise exit from One Direction, the High Flying Birds frontman seemed strangely fixated on how this move would affect the boy band singer's odds for getting laid.

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"The greatest quote was -- I laughed out loud when I read it -- 'I just want to be a normal 22-year-old.' Pfft. Who wants to be a normal 22-year-old?!" Gallagher said of Malik's reason for leaving 1D. "Hang on a minute. You can be f---ing anything that moves and gettin' paid half a million dollars a week, you f---in' idiot. You want to be a normal 22-year-old? Have you met any normal 22-year-olds? They're f---in' shit-for-brains."

In case "f---ing anything that moves" wasn't detailed enough for you to paint a mental picture, don’t worry, he's happy to get more graphic.

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"What are you talking about, you f---in' idiot? God. All those young Japanese girls suckin' me c--k," Gallagher said.

For the record, the rock star said he's never met Zayn, but he runs into Harry Styles at parties sometimes. "Harry's not got a great deal to say for himself, but he's a good lad! For Zayn, though, I'd say, 'F---in' get a good accountant because life is very f---in' long.'"

As for what Gallagher thinks about Tidal (he liked Madonna's table hump but was otherwise unimpressed), check out the full interview.