Christmas Music for People Who Hate Christmas Music

Nick Dorey
Sam Smith

Even if you don't like 'Jingle Bells' -- just like Sam Smith -- there's still seasonally appropriate music for you.

The Christmas Spirit isn't inside everyone. In fact, there are plenty of people who would prefer to fall asleep now and wake up when December ends.

The Year in Music 2014

Even Sam Smith -- who just recorded "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas," albeit the world's saddest version -- admitted to Boston's Mix 104.1 earlier this week that he can't stand holiday music. "I hate Christmas songs, it's true," Smith said. "But ['Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas'] is the only song I would ever attempt to sing, because of Judy Garland singing it, and Frank Sinatra singing it. To me, it sounds more like a classic jazz standard."

So even if you, like Smith, hate the holiday music that hits radio right after Halloween and doesn't go away until New Year's Day, that doesn't mean there aren't seasonally appropriate songs made just for you. Below, our playlist of Holiday Songs for People Who Hate Holiday Songs -- pure Christmas cynicism with a side of Seasonal Affective Disorder.

Blink-182, "I Won't Be Home for Christmas"
The Line That Stole Christmas: "Please stay away from my home if you don't wanna get beat down/ Just leave the presents and then leave me alone."

Leroy Carr, "Christmas in Jail (Ain't That a Pain)"
The Line That Stole Christmas: "Oh Santa, Santa, Santa, come here to me in jail/ Bring me a Christmas present, someone to get my bail."

The Chieftains feat. Elvis Costello, "St. Stephen's Day Murders"
The Line That Stole Christmas: "For that is the time to eat, drink and be merry till the beer is all spilled and the whiskey has flowed/ And the whole family tree you neglected to bury are feeding their faces until they explode."

Dropkick Murphys, "The Season's Upon Us"
The Line That Stole Christmas: "My nephew's a horrible wise little twit/ He once gave me a nice giftwrapped box full of shit/ He likes to pelt carolers with icy snowballs/ I'd like to take him out back and deck more than the halls."

The Killers, "Don't Shoot Me, Santa"
The Line That Stole Christmas: "Oh Santa, I've been killing just for fun/ Well, the party's over, kid/ Because I got a bullet in my gun."

The Kinks, "Father Christmas"
The Line That Stole Christmas: "Father Christmas, give us some money/ We got no time for your silly toys."

Aimee Mann, "I Was Thinking I Could Clean Up for Christmas"
The Line That Stole Christmas: "'Cause I can't live loaded and I can't live sober/ And I've been this way since the end of October."

Pet Shop Boys, "It Doesn't Often Snow at Christmas"
The Line That Stole Christmas: "Christmas is not all it's cracked up to be/ Families fighting around a plastic tree."

The Pogues feat. Kirsty MacColl, "Fairytale of New York"
The Line That Stole Christmas: "Happy Christmas, your arse/ I pray God it's our last."

Prince, "Another Lonely Christmas"
The Line That Stole Christmas: "Every Christmas night for seven years now/ I drink banana daiquiris till I'm blind."

Sonics, "Don't Believe in Christmas"
The Line That Stole Christmas: "Stayin' up late to see Santa Claus fly/ Well sure enough, don't ya know, the fat boy didn't show."

Tenacious D & Sum 41, "Things I Want"
The Line That Stole Christmas: "Hey now, Santa, I'm writing to you 'cause there's a lot of cool shit I want/ I know I've been naughty, but cut me some slack, 'cause there's a lot of cool shit I want."

TVTV$, "Daddy Drank Our Xmas Money"
The Line That Stole Christmas: "Every year we decorate the tree with empty beer cans/ Because that's the only ornaments we have."

The Vandals, "I Don't Believe in Santa Claus"
The Line That Stole Christmas: "He monitors naughty and nice, Big Brother is St. Nick/ Methodically his judgment made, documented on his list."

The Waitresses, "Christmas Wrapping"
The Line That Stole Christmas: "So deck those halls, trim those trees, raise up cups of Christmas cheer/ I just need to catch my breath, Christmas by myself this year."

Tom Waits, "Christmas Card From a Hooker in Minneapolis"
The Line That Stole Christmas: "Charlie, hey, I'll be eligible for parole come Valentine's Day."

Jim White, "Christmas Day"
The Line That Stole Christmas: "I was crying in a Greyhound station on Christmas Day in 1998."

The Futureheads, "Christmas Was Better in the 80s"
The Line That Stole Christmas: "The snow was deeper in the '80s, and everybody used to play outside on Santa's sleigh, living dreams and holidays."

The Midnight Riders, "All I Want for Christmas (Is to Kick Your Ass)"
The Line That Stole Christmas: "I'm naughty, not so nice, someone who wants you dead/ Know when you're sleeping and I know when you wake, got a sock full of bolts and I'm hiding under your bed."

Rancid, "Xmas Eve (She Got Up and Left Me)"
The Line That Stole Christmas: "You said 'protect me' and you left me on Christmas Eve/ I feel so empty, don't call me, don't stall me/ Christmas Eve, well she got up and left me."

Weezer, "The Christmas Song"
The Line That Stole Christmas: "You told me you would be here by my side, warming my heart on this cold winter's night/ Here I sit waiting beside the tree all by myself."