'Beyonce' for Men: 5 Things Guys Can Love and Learn From Queen Bey's New Album
Without question, Beyoncé is for the ladies first. For more than a decade now, she’s made music that’s assisted in powering their self-esteems, sent bad boyfriends to the left, and made them sweat out their hairdos on the dance floor. Sure, she’s had little nuggets here and there for the fellas. But now on her self-titled fifth solo album, Bey’s got more than a little bit for men to keep their ears open for, without “Whoa, you’re playing that?” stares from their buddies.
Today, one week after "Beyonce" shook the Internet awake at midnight by quietly releasing it on iTunes with no preceding promo, the set is available physically at just about all major retailers (except for Target). It's a solid listen for both sexes, Billboard Critics' Pick of 2013 even.
As usual, there are jams for her girls. The difference this time, though, is that there’s much more dialogue directed to and for men—lessons even. A close listen to “Beyoncé” reveals ways to show that special lady in your life you care, tools men can use in the bedroom and more. Here are five things you can learn from "Beyonce."
“Are we gonna even make it?” Beyonce asks on “Mine,” fearful of her relationship with husband Jay Z, feeling not so queen-like after having their first child. She mentions that they’ve been spending a lot of time apart. Surely, a showbiz couple has a rough time scheduling time for even the most important people in their lives. And the distance has their convos going a bit sour. “‘Cause if we are, we're taking this a little too far,” she sings. They’re still together. And if this shot above from their “Drunk in Love” video is any indication, they’re doing okay. When in doubt, talk it out.
“I cooked this meal for you naked,” sings Beyonce on “Jealous.” Look at her in the video still just above these words—cold and alone. On the track she follows up the statement by mentioning that she’s nearly done with a bottle of alcohol she intended on having with her man. And with him nowhere to be found, she’s dug out her “Freakum Dress” and is about to go hang out with a former boy toy to talk about their good old days. See how she’s dressed in the “Freakum Dress” vid?
Yeah, don’t be the dirtbag boyfriend/husband that misses naked dinner with your lady without any kind of notice. That’s a huge loss. Be thankful.
Sure, the bedroom likely is where the bulk of the physical loving goes down in a conventional relationship. But as Beyonce sings on a few songs, hopefully the kink doesn’t end there. On “Partition” she raps about getting it in with her man in their luxury car as their unwitting chauffer cruises to a party. “Handprints and footprints on my glass,” she says of their window-fogging activities. "He Monica Lewinsky'ed all on my gown," B’ adds later. Oh.
Feeling the effects of hubby Jay Z’s D’Usse cognac on "Drunk in Love," the couple gets cooking in a more unconventional room in their house. “We woke up in the kitchen saying, ‘How the hell did this shit happen?’” she recalls. The lesson here? Spice things up.
In the spirit of the holiday season, know that it’s better to give than receive (hopefully what goes around comes around, though). On the Pharrell Williams and Timbaland-produced "Blow," one of several naughty cuts on “Beyonce,” Bey’ sweetly asks her guy, “Can you lick my skittles/ That's the sweetest in the middle.”
The inquiry may pass a reader or two’s eyes as a simple rainbow candy reference. But it’s more than that. We’re talking oral affection here, folks. She’s all about getting it and is not a bit bashful. “Pink is the flavor,” Beyonce continues, “Solve the riddle.” Well, that’s not much of a toughy. Just know if you do it well, the chances that she’ll eventually ask for that “daddy long stroke” (Beyonce’s words!) are high.
Love Conquers All
Yeah, the “Love conquers all” sentiment isn’t a new one. But it never gets old. Just listen to how Beyonce sings of the way Jay Z makes her feel on the Pharrell-produced “Superpower.” “When the palm of my two hands hold each other,” she starts. “That feels different from when your hands are in mine.” In a reserved yet supremely confident tone, she continues to say his love makes her feel as strong as a shark or bear. You want her to feel that strength. With Wonder Woman at your side, who’s going to slow y’all down?