Morrissey's Novel Is Out & the Reviews Are Bad

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Morrissey performs on Day 2 of the 2015 Firefly Music Festival at The Woodlands on June 19, 2015, in Dover, Delaware.

The Guardian’s Michael Hann calls it “an unpolished turd of a book” and the Daily Beast’s Nico Hines dubs it “a bizarre, misogynistic ramble.”

Penguin released Morrissey’s Autobiography in 2013, and today (Sept. 24), the venerable publishing house is giving the world a novel from Moz, titled List of the Lost.

The 128-page paperback tells the story of a men’s relay team in mid '70s Boston that is cursed after accidentally killing someone. “The wretch begins a banishing ritual of the four main characters, and therefore his own death at the beginning of the book is illusory.” 

Two early reviewers sound like they wish the book itself would have remained illusory.

The Guardian’s Michael Hann calls it “an unpolished turd of a book” and the Daily Beast’s Nico Hines dubs it “a bizarre, misogynistic ramble.” 

Morrissey Says His 'Final Ever U.K. Shows' Are Coming This Month

Hines notes the female characters are underdeveloped and “almost universally grasping and obsessed with sex.” On that topic, Hann shares this excerpt of a Morrissey-penned sex scene: 

Eliza and Ezra rolled together into the one giggling snowball of full-figured copulation, screaming and shouting as they playfully bit and pulled at each other in a dangerous and clamorous rollercoaster coil of sexually violent rotation with Eliza’s breasts barrel-rolled across Ezra’s howling mouth and the pained frenzy of his bulbous salutation extenuating his excitement as it smacked its way into every muscle of Eliza’s body except for the otherwise central zone.

The barrel rolled breasts are apparently a symptom of what Hann describes as appearing to be unedited, “the curse of the writer whose commercial clout is stronger than their publisher’s willpower."