That's right friends, while most people were working their way through Hump Day, I was flying the friendly skies with Boston's finest, as they headed from Chicago to Las Vegas on a Southwest Airlines Party Plane, en route to their only four North American shows this year at Planet Hollywood (The same stage as Britney Spears!). And to celebrate the occasion, the boys invited some super-fans to party alongside them and enjoy some free booze. It was the most fun anyone could ever have flying without the aid of prescription drugs.
Now, as a couple hundred journalists found out in Nov. of 2012, sometimes party planes are not the most fun. Super fans can be terrifying. This was not the case at all however on the New Kids on the Block Party Plane. The guys could not have been more social or hysterical, the fans more courteous, and, again, free booze!
And so, I give you the 10 greatest moments from the 2014 New Kids on the Block Party Plane. Also, for anyone in or near Vegas, tickets are still available for their show this weekend, so scoop them up while you can. The boys are sounding and looking really good.
1. Jonathan Knight Gets A Gift Bag Full Of Custom Speedos: Some fans give posters and some give pins. But on the NKOTB Party Plane, fans give bags full of custom Speedos with your last name printed on the ass, and your favorite sports team covering up the front.
2. Joey McIntyre Plays Cards Against Humanity: If you ask Joey McIntyre to play Cards Against Humanity on a flight, he will. And he will get very, very into it.
3. Donnie Wahlberg Is The Host With The Most: The only brief downer was when guests were informed on the flight that they could only have one free drink. Good old Donnie was not having that however, and quickly informed everyone they should drink as much as possible and for free. Truly, the greatest host ever.
4. Jordan Knight Raps: You want to know what is even more fun than listening to "Hangin' Tough" on that old cassette tape you got? Listening to "Hangin' Tough" an Jordan Knight sits in front of you rapping the following verse: "We're rough/You know we're rough/We're rough guys/Motherfuc*ers/Oh yeah"
5. Joey McIntyre Sings. And Sings. And Sings: Joey started off the flight singing selected songs from The Lion King, before launching into some classic NKOTB and ending with a chant he created from the Twitter hashtag for the day, #NKOTBPartyPlane. Oh, and he then threw in some Billy Joel as we deboarded.
6. World's Biggest New Kids On The Block Super Fan Rocks Greatest Outfit Ever: Take a pair of leggings with "New Kids on the Block" written all over them in fluorescent print and add a "The Flight Stuff" tank, and you have the attire of NKOTB's greatest fan ever.
7. Donnie Wahlberg Teaches Everyone About Geography: When not hijacking the intercom on the plane to let everyone know that there was no smoking in the bathroom, or helping oout with boarding procedures, Donnie doled out geography lessons, claiming at one point we were over Kansas on our Chicgao to Las Vegas flight.
8. Jonathan Knight Throws Food At Poor, Unsuspecting Plane Passengers: Jonathan was kind enough to pass out snacks on the flight, but clearly grew tired of the gig by the last row as he started chucking 100 calorie Nabisco treats at the back rows. Such a violent streak that one.
9. Danny Wood Is A Pro At Finding Beer: Within minutes of boarding the plane, Danny had somehow found a beer. It was the most impressive thing we have ever seen.
10. Sarah, The World's Greatest Flight Attendant: This was our safety briefing, delivered to the beat of "Step by Step" as Mr. Jordan Knight demonstrated life vest usage and how to put on those oxygen masks -- all written, and created by Sarah, the world's greatest flight attendant:
Step by Step
Gonna take you through our safety world
Gonna fly you roun the world...
Fasten that seatbelt up tight
Wear it on your hips all through the flight
Forward, ba-ack, overwing
Six exit doors if leavin's your thing
Safe- ty- Card
In the seat back
Read it through, before flight
South - west - air
I heard they're always running those planes on time
Step by Step
Smoking's not allowed onnnn boardddd
Stow - those -bags
Under your seat
Or in the overhead bin
The seatbelt sign
You can see
Means you must remain in your seat
Signs around you
Means you must listen to your crew
Your - life - vest
It's yellow, under your seat you will find
Wrap - the - strap
Once outside pull red tab to inflate
A quick reminder that cell phones need to be off or in airplane mode. And there's no congregating around the forward lay..
We don't expect a change in cabin pressure, but if so ... here's some step by step instructions for your oxygen masks.
Step 1: Pull down for airflow.
Step 2: Breathe normal's easy to do
Step 3: Kids say "you first and then me"
Step 4: On each row there are 4
Step 5: Keep on waiting until notified
So basically guys, if you ever have the chance to ride on a New Kids on the Block Party Plane, you say "YES!" It will be one of the greatest days of your entire life.