Dreadful Music Festival Fashions That Could Be Lurking in Your Closet
If you've ever attended a music festival -- or seen one on Instagram -- you know fashion plays almost as big of a role as the musicians do.
But over the years, styles have changed and evolved So the next time you decide to go see your favorite band play in the middle of a field, leave these eight outfits and hairstyles back at home.
What better way to say please give me a much more thorough search on entry to a festival than coming dressed as a '90s speed freak. You might have gotten away with looking like an absolute idiot in 1995, but in 2017 the best you can hope for is a diminishing number of friends, and at worst a nice long chat with festival security.
Pork pie hat
No one cares if it’s survived a Warped Tour mosh pit with Reel Big Fish. Your pork pie hat is best left in the past. This iconic piece of third-wave ska memorabilia should be in a museum somewhere, along with any shred of dignity to be found from that whole scene. It didn’t look cool on Tim Armstrong, and it certainly won’t look cool on you. Face it, you are not in No Doubt. If you play rocking double bass, my apologies, as you were.
Ick. The typical '90s spike up. Whatever happened to that? It seemed to milk every drop of cringe possible before disappearing circa. 2005. Both members of Linkin Park famously rocked the full look, in MasterCard colors for added hilarity. Apart from the obvious damage to your street cred, you’ve got to remember the practicalities of such a hairstyle, and the limitations you’ve placed on yourself by attempting to maintain it for a weekend with scant shower facilities. Hey, grease probably works as well as wax though, right?
Those weird fake dreadlocks
Think The Offspring in around 1995. Yeah Dexter, I’ll “Come Out and Play” but get rid of that mess on your head first. Of course, what the kids saw on MTV was copied across the land. Freedom fighter, and all round testifier Zac De La Rocha wore his locks well – but any reversible attempt at pigging backing on his style is, and will forever be, lame. Don’t try it at home, and for the love of god, don’t try it at a festival, in public, near your friends.
We’ve all owned one. Don’t try and deny it. The iconic flannel shirt was a staple for grunge kids, and on the right patch of grass near the right mall, or shopping center, you can still spot the odd one among the black hoodies and hair dye. They’ve even been spotted outside of Seattle. Seeing one without an acoustic guitar nearby is increasingly rare, however. But it reeks of the ‘90s/
Ridiculously large jeans (chain optional)
Remember those freaking enormous jeans everyone used to wear to watch Korn in? Yeah, of course you do. Right, now forget them quickly. You’re at a festival, most likely in a field. At best, the denim trailing across the floor is going to get dusty as hell, at worst, it starts raining and then you might as well throw them in the trash. A soaking wet pair of jeans is never your friend, let alone when you’re living out of a rucksack for the weekend. Your best option is to try and sell them cheap to the festival organizers, and see if they can cram a stage or two in either leg.
Hip hop track suits
Before you go routing around in the local thrift store for a classic piece of track-ware, stop. If you remember but one thing from this list, let it be this: DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince you are not. Leave the garish St Lucia flag one piece alone, and head for the nearest exit. You’ll thank us for it when you look back on your pictures from Lollapalooza 2017, or wherever you’re off to this summer.
The flower crown phase has thankfully come and gone.