As host, will you be making fun of the musicians?
I don’t think so. The Grammys are not really a place for comedy. And I’m only in the show for 17 minutes or so, across the four hours. My intention is to make it fun before it’s funny.
What will you do during the three hours and 43 minutes you’re not onstage?
I’ll be trying to find catering, I imagine.
Speaking of which: Many of us who have the same physique as you won’t take off our shirts in public. You do it on your show. Often. Why?
It’s just your body. It doesn’t define who you are. In fact, when you see boring films, they’re often when people all look the same. All that matters is: How am I going to be happy and make others happy in this incredibly short window while I’m on this floating orb in the middle of nowhere?
If you had Donald Trump on your show, what would you ask him?
We’ve never pursued having him on the show. But I’ve thought about this a lot, and I have a really good idea to play a game called “Stand By It or Take It Back.” I’ll read him something he’s said, and he’ll have two paddles. One says “Stand by it” and one says “Take it back.” Then you ask, “You said this 18 months ago about this particular group of people, do you stand by it or do you take it back? If you stand by it, you’ve got to tell me why.” It would be fun if he did it, wouldn’t it?
Will we see Trump on your show?
I have no idea. I don’t even know who’s on the show next week.
Tell me something you envy about one of your fellow late night hosts.
Oh, I can tell you something I envy about all of them: their salary. That’s the only thing I envy.
Are you the lowest paid talk show host on network TV?
I cannot imagine there is one paid less. I’m very happy with what I’m making, and then I hear what the other dudes are making and think, “Hang on a second!”