It's Pimp Lucius vs. Sylvester: The Sequel in Chapter 25 of R. Kelly 's "Trapped in the Closet," and as the drama ratchets up, so do the supporting players. That's right -- God makes a cameo.
As you might recall from Chapter 24 , Sylvester and Twan traded barbs with the erstwhile Pimp after running into him and his gaggle of offensively caricatured prostitutes outside the barbershop. The chapter concluded with Sylvester shrugging off his childhood acquaintance and commanding Twan to buy him dinner -- but not so fast, Sylvester. Pimp Lucius needs to talk, seriously.
"You know, me and you go back, chasing these ho's in high school to doing time in the joint," Lucius tells his uneasy R. Kelly counterpart. Ah, the "good ol' days," and all that. But Sylvester knows that the Pimp is buttering him up for a favor. Despite his expensive-looking goblet and braided facial hair, Lucius appears to be in dire financial straits, and asks Sylvester to lend him some coin. "I'll pay you back… on the first," Lucius rasps.
"And what's the first?"
"The first chance I get!"
Poorly played, Lucius. If only he had known that Twan just won enough cash on a basketball game to pay for Sylvester's haircut and next meal -- the "macho man" might have come in more handy than the pimp's old friend.
Lucius mentions the mysterious phone call as well, but Sylvester ignores the detail and suggests that the ladies' man go stay with his parents. Pimp Mom & Pimp Pop seem to be estranged from Pimp Lucius, but them being Christian and all, why wouldn't they take him back in?
And then Pimp Lucius hears a voice declare, "He's right, Lucius." And that voice is the voice of God.
Nothing else in the chapter really matters after God directly speaks to R. Kelly dressed up as a stuttering pimp. The Narrator explains that Reverend Mosley (also played by R. Kelly in Chapter 19) had a profound effect on Pimp Lucius, but that should have been obvious from Day One. Sure, Sylvester and Twan rebuff the pimp once more, but who cares about a couple racks when you are consistently undergoing transformative religious experiences? Pimp Lucius may become Prophet Lucius just yet. But for now, he's headed home… where he belongs.
Join us tomorrow for Chapter 26 of "Trapped in the Closet," as R. Kelly dresses up in more crazy costumes.
- The Juice