Still mourning Pia Toscano's untimely exit from "American Idol"? Well, I'm sorry to say that tonight's show won't help you get over the Celine Dion-esque singer from Queens. The top 8 tackled songs from the movies on Tuesday's performance episode, and let's just say that if the majority of them were ever hired to make a soundtrack, they'd flunk with flying colors.

Pia Toscano Voted Off 'American Idol' in Shock Elimination

Much to mentor Jimmy Iovine's dismay, only a smattering of contestants, especially Lauren Alaina and Stefano Langone, made good selections, while others may have just bought themselves a ticket home (we're looking at you, Casey Abrams and Haley Reinhart). Who came out on top? Let's roll the tape!

1) Jacob Lusk
Song: Simon & Garfunkel, "Bridge over Troubled Water"

Steven said: "How much of you you put into a song is phenomenal. It's astounding to me how angelic you sing. God bless you, man. And your voice."

Jennifer said: "You're such a gifted vocalist. Seriously. But it's just not that. It comes from a another place. It comes from the place it's supposed to come from."

Randy said: "What happens to me when you sing is, I believe you. A great singer just takes every word and it comes out so special."

We say: On one of the most mediocre performance nights this season, it's no surprise that Jacob Lusk dominated the competition -- especially now that his powerhouse partner in crime Pia is out of the picture (see what I did there?). Jacob wisely took Jimmy Iovine's advice and changed his song to "Bridge Over Troubled Water," then wowed with a performance that was restrained and emotive in all the right places. He's still over-the-top, sure, but it doesn't feel like an act anymore.  Even I, who have never claimed membership to the Team Jacob fan club ("Twilight" notwithstanding) -- was highly impressed; dare I say, moved? That might be a stretch for my jaded little "Idol" heart, but for now let's say Jacob is back on top after a very rough last week. Bless his mirror-shunning heart! 

2) James Durbin
Song: Sammy Hagar, "Heavy Metal"

Steven said: "Outstanding, Durbin -- you just had to get that out didn't you?"

Jennifer said: "That felt really, really real. I don't know what these performances are sounding like at home, but here, they are killing it dead!" 

Randy said: "You guys were just at a James Durbin concert. Hopefully America will bring metal back because I can see you onstage with Avenged Sevenfold and Ozzy at the next Ozzfest."

We say: Unlike Jacob, James Durbin did NOT take Jimmy Iovine's advice. I agreed that somewhere out there, there's a better song for him to sing, but ultimately it didn't matter, because James got all the bells and whistles needed to earn the night's pimp spot and deliver on it. Bells: strobe lights. Whistles: veteran metal guitarist Zakk Wylde, who just boosted Durbin's rock 'n' roll credibility big time. After James went introspective with last week, it was refreshing to see this no-holds-barred performance.

Pia Toscano Calls 'American Idol' Elimination 'A Tough Moment'

3) Lauren Alaina
Song: Miley Cyrus, "The Climb"

Steven said: "I love what you bring to a song, and I love more what a song brings to you. You move me beyond tears."

Jennifer said: "I love the tear that you have in your voice. It's a cry. It's something that really transmits."

Randy said: "The Lauren that we first saw in Nashville is roaring back. You made that song sound like and you sung it like it was written for you."

We say: I feel like a broken record (or Randy Jackson), but Lauren Alaina is still improving every week. She's still got the most important thing on "Idol" going for her, and that is the Narrative of Progress (otherwise known as Pia's Kryptonite). Yes, if any girl is going to make it to the finals this year -- or heck, the top 5! -- it's Lauren. But I found it interesting tonight that while Lauren is, in fact, a "stronger singer than Miley Cyrus," you could easily make the argument that her cover didn't quite live up to the original. There's something about Miley's sass that you hear it in every note of her version, and it just works. There's a smidgen of attitude missing in Lauren's singing that, if she'd just unleash, could really shake up the competition. Maybe she'll bring it next week? Maybe?! I've gotta believe!


4) Scotty McCreery
Song: George Strait, "Cross My Heart"

Steven said: "You're the voice of America."

Jennifer said: "Everybody wants us to be tough with you guys, but the truth is you all are so damn good!" [laughs uncontrollably]

Randy said: "America, look at this guy right here. A star is born on this stage."

We say: As a proud member of Team Scotty, I was sorely disappointed when he switched his song from "Talkin'" to George Strait's "Cross My Heart." The former would've been really unexpected, and the brief snippet that we heard behind the scenes sounded like it could have killed in front of a live audience -- potentially even worth a long overdue pimp spot! This George Strait song, while beautiful, is probably unfamiliar to many "Idol" viewers who are not country fans. Despite my and Jimmy's quibbles, Scotty again showed growth -- no, seriously, I think he's going through post-voice change puberty before our eyes -- and probably earned respect from his core fans for sticking to his guns. For that, I salute him.

Next: Stefano Leaps From Boy II Man, Blondie Haley Rocks a Blondie Classic