When Ozzy Osbourne was first approached to write an advice column for London's Sunday Times Magazine several years ago, the rationale behind it was that the "Prince of Darkness" has not only lived through it all, but he's since changed his ways. He's the ultimate weird dad, but a family man nonetheless, and his attempts to stay clean and shape up have proven fruitful.

His health and sex advice column Dr. Ozzy has proven to be as equally fruitful, since expanding to the pages of Rolling Stone and now, a book. Out today (Oct. 10, via Grand Central Publishing), "Trust Me, I'm Dr. Ozzy: Advice From Rock's Ultimate Survivor" features the Black Sabbath frontman's signature foul mouth, tempered by his surprisingly common sense approach. Many questions are, not surprisingly, as wild as Osbourne's past.

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"People ask me all kinds of strange things, and if I can't answer, I'll say, 'How can you write to me and it goes in this newspaper and millions of people will probably read your problem?'" he tells Billboard.com. "You say you've got a hemorrhoid or some shit? Go to the doctor! I don't know the actual physical breakdown of the way it all works. I don't say, 'Well, go and buy five aspirins and a fucking jar of jam, and rub it on your ass.'"

"Doing the column makes me realize that there are just as many crazy people around as me," Ozzy admits, before launching into a mumbled tirade over some of the more frustrating questions he's received -- from disapproving parents of a homosexual teen to sexual encounters of the senior citizen kind.

"Here's one: 'I've been married several years but I find my wife and I have sex less and less. Instead of seven days a week, we're now having it four days a week. Is she seeing another man? Oh, and I'm 65 years old.' I responded: 'Stop fucking complaining.' F**king four times a week? What the!"

For more of Ozzy's advice, read on for excerpts from "Trust Me, I'm Dr. Ozzy," co-written by Chris Ayres, who previously collaborated with Osbourne on his memoir, "I Am Ozzy."

NEXT: Five Dr. Ozzy Book Excerpts