Super Bowl Music Biz Bet: Denver's Beatport Vs. Seattle's Sub Pop

In the fine tradition of all that is great about sport, Billboard has gathered two music businesses with skin in this year's Super Bowl -- Seattle's Sub Pop Records (Seahawks fans) and Denver's Beatport (Broncos supporters)--and strong-armed them into betting against each other. Here, the storied indie label and global DJ hub give their best boasts, jeers and music takes on this year's match while putting on the line a veritable treasure trove of locally-sourced offerings. May the best team/music company win!

 

TALE OF THE TAPE

 

Sub Pop Records   Beatport
Team:Seattle Seahawks

 

  Team:Denver Broncos

 

Company Description: Going out of business since 1988.

 

Company Description:  The world’s leading online provider of music, tools and resources customized for the unique needs and demands of DJs.

Employee Rep: Sam Sawyer

 

Employee Rep: Lloyd Starr

Title: Digital Communications Manager

 

Title: COO (Note: Team Beatport says their responses were filled out by the entire company)

 

The Wager: I’d say an eighth of our best Seattle kush, but this is the one team that where that wouldn’t be a very exciting bet (I’m pandering here, I assume that everyone wants a reference to the first ever 420 Bowl, right?). So, let’s say one Pike Place Market-thrown fish (or, smoked salmon), a pound of Lighthouse Coffee (Sub Pop’s in-office choice), a Space Needle Keychain, and a Sub Pop “Loser” t-shirt.

 

The Wager: A Beatport DJ-ing T-shirt, a pot-leaf-emblazoned Denver souvenir, a Growler of beer from Our Mutual Friend (the office’s preferred brewery) and an embarrassing photo of our executive team on the front page of Beatport.com for a half day.

Favorite Thing About Your City: 
 There’s a lot to love about Seattle. But, the single thing that I like most is that I can surf, play in the snow, be in the mountains, catch a show, head to one of 50 skateparks, hit up the Ballard farmer’s market, get a world-class cup of coffee, eat the best pastries, see an art show, get a gluten-free slice of ‘za, go squiddin’ or crabbin’, hit up Sonic Boom Records, and eat too many happy hour oysters ALL IN ONE WEEKEND.

 

Favorite Thing About Your City: Sunshine, amazing craft beer, all of the various types of greenery, a plethora of taco shops, the list goes on and on, really. We have a great music scene that supports our nightly DJing habits, and are never more than an hour from some of the best snow in the country.

Favorite Things About Your Team and Favored Players:  Listen, we at Sub Pop have been HUGE Seahawks fans for FOREVER, we’re talking for months now, like, since mid-November. It’s that sort of long term, all in, lifestyle-altering dedication to a team that lends itself to the type of expert analysis that you are about to read. That said, I like the Seahawks defense, they brought me to a respectable fourth place in my 12-person fantasy league. I like Sherman’s style and his Beats Music ad (more than Kaepernick’s); I like the cool head and improvisational cut of QB Dangerruss Wilson’s jib; I LOVE the fact that one of the best RBs in the league, a man known as Beast Mode, Marshawn Lynch, got fined by the NFL because he didn’t talk enough—pair that with the fact that his end zone dance is a series of handshakes makes him one of the NFL’s raddest guys in my clearly expert and notably well articulated opinion.

 

Favorite Things About Your Team and Favored Players: Besides the obvious QB, who has done so much for our team and the morale of this city, it would have to be both of the Thomases, Demariyus and Julius. They did really big things for the Broncos this year. A close second goes to everyone on the Broncos that does not have “YOLO” tattooed on their face. The best thing about the team is that we are all class, all the way.  Also, do you know of any other current coach who left mid-season for heart surgery and came back? Yeah, me neither.

Music/Artist That Best Represents Your Team: A theoretical cover of Sir Mix A Lot’s “Posse’s On Broadway” by Mudhoney -- think about it, that would be awesome.

 

Music/Artist That Best Represents Your Team:  We thought long and hard about this one, but ultimately went with mega-watt superstar Zedd, who got his start winning our remix contests and is currently the Peyton Manning of Dance Music.

Favorite Football-Watching Snack: A porterhouse steak cut straight from a live bronco’s succulent horse body.

 

Favorite Football-Watching Snack: Seahawk wings, deep fried in hash oil.

Your Take on the Citizenry and Locale of the Opposing City:  Everyone is a hippy pothead snowboarder and/or a Boulder-based yoga mom fueled by overpriced co-op produce and ethically sourced, organic bulk grains. Which is to say, I think that the citizens of Denver, CO are very similar to the citizens of Seattle, WA.

 

Your Take On The Citizenry and Locale Of The Opposing City: They seem like complete psychopaths.

Least Favorite Player on the Opposing Team:  I don’t trust Wes Welker -- at all. He’s a sneaky little fella.

 

Least Favorite Player On The Opposing Team: The "12th Man." What a sad, self-absorbed clown he or she is.

A Jeer You Might Say to the Opposing Team: Despite the whole 12th Man, Legion of Boom reputation, we’re a pretty passive aggressive people here in the Pacific Northwest; I think I’ll just leave a note on the windshield after the game.

 

A Jeer You Might Say to the Opposing Team: The Broncos are the only horses WE need!

Why Your Team Will Win: Will they win? God, I hope they win. I’d like Seattle to have something to come together over beyond the FOUR Grammys that Macklemore took home last weekend.

 

Why Your Team Will Win: PFM! [Peyton "F'in" Manning]

Final Score:  31-28, Seahawks   Final Score: 34- 25, Broncos

Questions? Comments? Let us know: @billboardbiz

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