Fantasia Barrino will admit that her recent overdose was no accident and that she "wanted out" in a VH1 "Behind the Music" interview set to air tomorrow night (Aug. 24).
According to People, the singer tells "Behind the Music" that she purposely took an entire bottle of pills with the hope of ending her life. "I didn't have any fight in me. I didn't care about anything. I just wanted out," says Barrino. "I just sat in the closet and look at the mirror and took all the pills in the bottle. I wanted to go to sleep and just be at peace. I knew exactly what I was doing. You can't accidentally take a whole bottle of pills."
Barrino says that she was pushed to the edge due to the scandal caused by her affair and alleged sex tape with a married man, Antwaun Cook. When she met Cook, she says, he was separated from his wife Paula, who is now threatening the singer with a lawsuit.
"I was tired of people doing me wrong, constantly, over and over again, dealing with my family -- my father, dealing with men and their sh*t -- I was tired," says Barrino.
Manager Brian Dickens recalls finding the singer lying on the floor in her room on the night of Aug. 9, after Barrino had texted him that she had done something "stupid." "Her emotions were extremely low," says Dickens. "She'd been crying all day. Fantasia was just numb."
Barrino, who thanked her fans for their "prayers and support" after leaving the hospital and has resumed her promotional run for her third album, "Back to Me," says that a nurse told her to "fulfill your destiny" and helped her find perspective while she was hospitalized. "I realized how people end up in the grave. Because that one moment of just breaking or feeling like I can't, I can't go on, it's too heavy. That was somewhere I don't ever want to go again," she says.
The singer is set to celebrate the release of "Back to Me" with a performance on "Good Morning America" tomorrow (Aug. 24), while she will also appear on "Lopez Tonight," "106 & Park" and "Live with Regis and Kelly" over the next month.