Zany "Food" video explodes on YouTube
You've hit the jackpot, Internet persons who enjoy Chinese food, Asian stereotypes and videos of old guys wearing panda suits while tickling a little girl. The Jack. Pot. Courtesy of the tween-focused men who birthed Rebecca Black's "Friday" comes Alison Gold, a 12-year-old singer whose goopy video for a song dubbed "Chinese Food" has racked up over 1.2 million YouTube views in a day.
Gold opens the clip with some poetry about "ballin'" and "clubbing'" before the hunger-grumps set in and she vandalizes a park trash can. That's when she smells what's cooking over at Chinese Food, a Chinese food restaurant across the street. She storms the joint and announces to the child working behind the cash register that… "I love Chinese Food. You know that it's true. I love fried rice. I love noo-dulls. I love chow mien. Chow mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mien."
After rattling off "beautiful" menu items like broccoli, chicken wings, egg rolls and wonton soup, a heavily auto-tuned Gold gets a fortune cookie that warns her about a new friend coming into her life, which turns out to be an adult-sized person in a panda costume.
There's frolicking and giggling and even some not-creepy tickling, which is followed by the pair spotting a cloud in the sky that morphs into a bowl of soup. After this hallucination, Gold and bear are seen at a slumber party when the panda reveals his identity: none other than Patrice Wilson, head of Ark Music Factory and the mastermind behind Black's "Friday" in 2011.
What follows is a rap in which Wilson -- who is squinting his eyes -- rhymes "broccoli" with "Monopoly" and "takes away my stress" with "eat Panda Express." Some little girls dressed as mini geishas (JAPAN) appear and do a dance and then Wilson inexplicably rockets out of Gold's house.
The song is expected to make its Billboard chart debut next week. Stay tuned.
This actually isn't Gold's first video for Ark; she is also a member of Tweenchronic, a hip-hop duo that earlier this year released "Skip Rope." The video has less than 600,000 views and is also horrible.