Even though Whitney Houston passed away more than two months ago now, the kids of "Glee" are still mourning her, locker shrine and all.
This week's episode laser-focuses on the sentiment that Finn expressed last week, the desire to freeze time, or bend it, or punish yourself to try and cheat the consequences of it. Quinn is impatient that time hasn't healed her wounds in the way she expects, Schue wants to trap time in a bottle and keep the kids with him, and Blaine is so worried that Kurt is running away from him that he wants to pull away now to avoid hurt later on. The growing up lesson everyone gets is that none of this is possible, and like Whitney's life, "Glee" is but a moment marred with good, bad and in-between. If last week was good clean disco escapism fun, this week is the other, deeper "Glee" that takes songs and a story and gets us to feel something we all recognize.
We cold open, straight into Whitney's "How Will I Know," featuring Mercedes, Santana, Rachel and Kurt. It's funereal, and hauntingly beautiful as the foursome mourn Whitney and their own impending escapes to a scarier place outside of Lima. It's also a reminder of when 'Glee' gets it right, it's really right, and undeniably so. Will sees this as a chance to pop psychologist the club about how they're clinging to Whitney because they're looking to stop time. Santana calls him out on putting his baggage on them, and of course we find out through an on-going and slightly annoying Will and Emma plot that Mr. Schue is also looking to freeze time, moving his wedding up by months to guarantee that all the club members can attend. As unrealistic as Glee can be (didn't they once plan a wedding in a single episode?) Emma takes a stance of realism and explains they need time, and the kids will come no matter what. Sure, that's naive, but when you're on the brink of change it's what you need to hear.
While there are a lot of couples facing separation come graduation (Tina and Mike, Britt and Santana), the focus of this particular strain rests on the Kurt and Blaine relationship, one that has proven the most stable and grown up of all the main couplings all season long. Kurt, over-excited about Whitney and how perhaps he can master two Whitney songs and use one for his NYADA audition, wants Blaine to come with him to "Between The Sheets," a cheekily named music shop in town. Blaine can't, and Kurt's little "boo" emphasizes a definitely drift between the two. Kurt goes alone and runs into Chandler, an overexcited answer to the idea that Kurt Hummel is a gay stereotype (this, this is a gay stereotype) who spouts out witty one liners, reveals he's also New York bound for college, and flatters Kurt until he asks for his number. We can all see how this decision isn't going to be a wise one.
We can forget our our wariness for a moment, however, because we jump right into Britt's rendition of "I Wanna Dance With Somebody," starting out in the choir room with all the thigh shots you could ever want. She tries to pull everyone up to dance, even Quinn, awkwardly. Of course, the only person Britt wants to dance with is Santana. The two fantasy-segue into Whitney-style mini dresses and hairbows, change the lyrics to "I need a woman to take a chance" and bop around in the most specific and unique lesbian fantasy ever broadcast on national television.
In the hallway Kurt is dusting off his Whitney shrine when Rachel catches him getting texts from Chandler. When Rachel is shocked Kurt is engaging with this guy without telling Blaine, Kurt explains to Rachel he's afraid he and Blaine have "lesbian bed death," that they're too much like friends and an old married couple. They haven't had an unscheduled makeout session in a month. Kurt claims the exchanges with Chandler are innocent and make him feel good, but Rachel points out if he won't show Blaine the text messages, it's definitely not innocent.
Meanwhile, Teen Jesus has decided to accompany Quinn to physical therapy sessions to amp up his Christian credits, and by the next time we see them they've been practicing romantic "Saving All My Love For You" duets while they stretch Quinn's legs. They perform it for the group, and as we flash to their sessions the montage is weirdly sexual and strange, Rachel Berry's raised eyebrows speak for us all. Later, when the girls call Quinn out on the budding romance she says nothing's going on, that part of her life is over since Teen Jesus failed to kiss her one time when he was stretching her leg up on his shoulder. He must not find her sexually attractive because of her chair, she mopes. However, it's the exact opposite, as Teen Jesus is thinking of giving up his godly ways and getting into Quinn's pants. He goes to Sam for some awkward sexual advice (Sam lost his virginity last year, because he was a stripper, naturally). Sam basically gives awful advice that guys just can't resist sex, no matter their faith, but in his one redeeming moment Teen Jesus doesn't turn into a total horndog. He does, at another awkward stretching session, unintentionally admit his attraction when Quinn feels his erection pressed against her. Ew. They don't immediately kiss or start dating, but Quinn notes it's the "start of something new."
Rachel and Santana finally realize their powers combined makes really awesome, really hot performances, and absolutely kill it on Whitney's "So Emotional," which they sing to each other in a way that comes off like a little bit of a lesbian ballad. While they perform, Kurt keeps getting and loudly reacting to texts from Chandler (loud enough to draw Sam's attention to read them) while Blaine clearly pouts at the lack of attention from his boyfriend. After they're all done Rachel corners Santana at her locker and reminds her they have 42 days left to be friends, and makes her put a picture of Rachel in her locker. This is unwittingly the gayest episode of 'Glee' in a long, long time.